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Have you taken any of those “real age” quizzes online? People with healthy lifestyles love them, confirming how youthful they are underneath all that, um, “life experience.” I confess I did this one: http://www.sonnyradio.com/realage.htm and was as pleased as punch to discover that although I was born in 1970, I am actually 24, with an estimated life span of 89.
While genetics play a role, it appears that we can turn back the virtual clock by what we do. According to this quiz, daily breakfast is a good thing, but if it’s coffee and a donut that’ll take FOUR YEARS off your life. Yikes! Having friends, feeling happy, meditating, all make the age meter click down, down, down. It’s a little disturbing how happy that makes me…
After all, age is just a number. But, then why do numbers hold such associations, such power? 4, the year my sister was born and my memories began. 9, when we moved from suburb to city and life burst into color – fuller, noisier, scarier. 15, when I met my future husband. 21, when I learned to drive, but didn’t really until I was 25. The 30s, a blur of sleeplessness and small children. 39, the year I decided to face 40 upside down.
Facing 40 rightside up was too depressing. My children have multiple special needs. Doctors, teachers, lawyers and therapists populated our days, worries about the future took over my nights. But despite the weight of decision making on me, kids are kids, and need to have fun, need to believe in themselves and in better days ahead. I realized how often I encouraged them to try things that I myself would say “I’m too tired” to do. How could I expect them to go outside their comfort zone if I wasn’t willing to myself?
So I declared a year of saying yes to trying things that scare me, and started my blog “Facing Forty Upside Down” with a promise to learn how to dive into a swimming pool, do a handstand, and finally learn how to ride a bike without looking like a spaz.
It was the best thing I could have done for all of us. Learning new things is fun! And fun is contagious. And keeps you young.
Real Patty at age 24 was certain. Career, marriage, family plans – all in place. So where does virtually 24-year old Patty fit in? The one who greets the question “What do you do?” without knowing where to begin? The one with the stamina of an at-home mom (i.e. Wonder Woman) but with creaky knees and memory loss? The one who still wants to make a mark on the world but is not sure how?
As a kid I used to love reading mysteries but I always jumped ahead to the ending – I couldn’t stand the suspense. As a young adult I saw life as a clear progression of steps to achieve and assumed through hard work and planning it would all be mine. Having children with special needs changed all that. Now, halfway there to my virtual life-span, I’m discovering through them: spontaneity, living in the moment, letting go of expectations. Experiencing joy.
Late at night I sometimes still lie awake wondering about how it will all end up. But in the daylight, it’s all about the now – we’re learning how to play the drums, how to make eye-contact, how to make a friend. How to fall and get up, again and again. How to try, just try, and be open to surprise.
This “real age” quiz gave me an estimated 18,400 more days to live. A big fat number. Somehow, it still doesn’t seem like enough, for all that I want to do.
Patty Chang Anker, a Good Housekeeping Magazine “Blogger We Love” is a writer who has also been featured in the Huffington Post and Motherhoodlater.com; Her blog, “Facing Forty Upside Down” is currently in the Top 30 of nominated blogs on Babble.com’s Top Mom Blog List and inspires readers to try new things. The mother of 2 daughters with special needs, she is also a yoga teacher and a public relations professional. She lives in a village north of New York City with her husband and children.
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Is age just a number to you, or does your age have significance to you? Tell us in the comment section below.
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