Can we access Nirvana?

I was reading an interesting article on intuition being a product of your right brain, and ended up watching the full twenty minute TED Talks video posted there. I love TED Talks. Do you watch them? I always end up crying listening to the inspiring speakers.

This particular TED Talks featured Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, a neuroscientist. At age 37 she suffered a stroke which completely rendered the left side of her brain useless. She moved into a world dominated by her right brain. In other words, she moved into a world of pure energy. She had no physical form and processed the world as pure spirit. In her own words she lived in Nirvana.

I encourage you to watch the entire video and I won’t give away any more details, but her message at the end is what I want to elaborate on.

Dr. Taylor did not have a choice about living as pure spirit. But while she was, she was connected to anything and everything. There was no boundary between her physical body and the world around her. She was the world around her. What she discovered is that we are all capable of living as pure spirit. It’s all there in the right hand side of the brain.

In my post on Intuition versus Logic, I suggest that you need more than the left hand side of your brain for solving problems.

What if we made a concentrated effort to access more of the right hand side of our brain and more often?

What if through techniques like meditation and Tarot we learned how to easily jump from the left side to the right side of the brain?

What if just for a minute, or even a fleeting moment, we experienced the Nirvana Dr. Taylor knows exists?

What would we bring back to the left hand side of our brain we ‘returned’?

Well, if we bring back even an ounze of the insight and passion and compassion that Dr. Taylor brought back from her journey, I would say it is worth the effort.

Wouldn’t you?

A bit more on this …

Ever wondered about the science behind mediation. Have a listen to my short audio explanation.

Catch the Wave with Meditation

Real Women Fart

The other day, I was following along to running mp3 created by Jeanne Andrus, my virtual running coach from Ignite!Running Adventures for Women. Jeanne delightfully chatters away through the whole audio, and I just zen into her words. However, the other day something happened that brought me up short.

Jeanne was describing how to do the warm up stretches. The great thing about the audio clips is Jeanne is stretching and running right along with you. Well, there Jeanne was stretching and talking and all of a sudden I heard

Pffffffffffffffffffffffffftttttttttttttttttttttthhhhhhhhhhhhh

I stopped in my tracks as my brain attempted to process what that was.

Did Jeanne … did she … did she just …. FART?

Then I heard Jeanne calmly state “Oh, that happens sometimes. Now rock back on your left heel.”

How incredibly wonderful. Yes, that’s right, wonderful. And here is why.

Up until fairly recently, I avoided displaying all normal bodily functions in public. If anybody had heard me fart, I would have been mortified.

But not anymore.

Not like I go around cutting one all the time. I do try to hold it in when in public, but if it slips out it slips out. I just say excuse me, and carry on.

I have come to accept that real women do fart. Sometimes those farts smell bad.

Real women also have vaginal farts. Any woman who does yoga knows this.

Real women sweat when they have worked hard, or are feeling stressed. This can show up in armpit moisture and body odour.

Real women have snot pouring out of their nose when they are bawling.

Real women burp. Heck, sometimes they even belch.

I must say, it is a huge relief to take a cue from the boys and just accept bodily functions as normal. We have enough to concerns ourselves with. The occasional escaped …

Pffffffffffffffffffffffffftttttttttttttttttttttthhhhhhhhhhhhh

… is pretty insignifant.

Your turn

I was raised with this little poem

Better to squelch a belch and die in pain
Then belch a belch and die in shame

Are you a squelcher or a belcher?

Darn Near 50: Do you have a community?

Until recently, I was never a part of a community. Nor did I feel any desire to be.

• I am not a church goer
• I do not belong to any charitable organizations
• I am not a member of a sorority
• I do not belong to club or group

Of course, now I belong to the Silver & Grace community and I cannot imagine my life without it. But, I still didn’t fully get the importance of community until my dad’s accident.

He is at home, paralyzed from the neck down and bed ridden. My mother has a team of support workers, but she is the primary care giver. To say it is exhausting for her is an understatement. But she is not isolated, because over their lifetime my parents have been involved in communities, both social and professional.

The 10th Line Ladies is a perfect example. My mother implemented a much loved tradition of inviting all the women on her country road over for an annual meal. These ladies took care of the house and cats when my parents were stuck in Spain where the accident occurred. These ladies have driven my mother to hospital visits when she was too tired or too scared to cope.

An even longer standing community was started sixty years ago, when my grandfather brought the property my parents now live at. He encouraged his gang from Port Credit to buy properties on the same stretch of country road. He and my grandmother created a weekend community of fun and frivolity. The children of that original gang, my mother’s peers, are showing up on her doorstep with food and very important hugs. Their adult children, my peers, are coming along too to help out.

I am not saying that we should belong to a community just in case we experience hardship. But in times of hardship, that is when the incredible support of a community is glaringly evident.

I have a community of women at my government job. We cry and laugh together. We have pooled our resources and sent women on spa weekends when we knew they were at their wits end. Interestingly, but not surprisingly, these women have joined the greater Silver & Grace community. And although the Silver & Grace community is wide spread and global, I experience the same crying and laughing together, and the same caring gestures.

I may not have been part of a community in the past, but I sure am now.I may not have had any desire for community in the past, but I sure do now.

I can’t imagine not belonging to a community.

My theory is, this is part of me becoming darn near 50. After years of struggling to have a connection with myself, now that I do, I crave the connection with others.

And I belong to a pretty awesome community chock full of connection.

Be part of my book Darn Near 50!

Your valuable feedback will be used indirectly in the content of the book, or directly as quotes. Before the book is published, I will contact contributors to verify if they want to be anonymous, or if their real names can be used.

Ready?

• What are your thoughts on belonging to a community?
• Do you? Have you always? Is this relatively new?
• What do you get from belonging to a community?

You can provide your thoughts

• right here in the comment section
• email me directly at eliza@silverandgrace.com
• by using this convenient form

A little bit more on this

I invite you to watch this video honouring the Silver & Grace Community.

You need more than logic to solve a problem

I read an interesting article on intuition and creativity — two things I love — and this sentence jumped out at me:

“You can’t always find a way to solve a problem by using logical or rational thinking.”

Seems obvious, but is it?

Our society loves facts and statistics. Here are just a few examples:

• games like Trivial Pursuit and Cranium
• sports stats like batting average and shots on goal
• the average number of people who <fill in the blank with just about anything>
• mean rainfall for the month May
• the lowest recorded temperature in Canada; -77.5 °C (-108 °F) by the way, which is freaking cold!

In business we have process flows and decision trees and financial forecasts based on the previous years’ actuals.

Facts. Logic. Rational thinking.

I used to try and solve all my problems by thinking them out. I wrote down facts. I analyzed pros and cons.

This worked okay for deciding which car to buy, but that was about it. In fact, I made some pretty bad decisions. Ridiculously horrible decisions.

The problem was, I was only working with half the information. Maybe even less.

I was not accounting for:

• how I feel about something
• how other people feel about something

Nor was I connecting the dots between seemingly disparate events and experiences.

Until the day I picked up a Tarot deck and discovered a whole wealth of information available to me that I didn’t know existed. Then I added in meditation which added even more. Next I added in stream of consciousness writing. Even more information.

What all these techniques have in common is they accessed my intuition and they freed me up to think creatively. It turns out, my facts where just the tip of the iceberg. Good information, but only what I could see on the surface.

For truly inspired problem solving, I now start with the facts, then springboard from there to my intuition. In fact, ever since I started doing that, I have made some really awesome decisions.

How do you approach problem solving? From a place a logic? From a place of intuition? Or a blend of both?

A bit more on this …

For more on how I use Tarot to help solve problems watch this fun video.

Top Ten Excuses To Not Exercise Examined

I read a good article the other day on the Top 10 Reasons You Don’t Exercise. Why did I read this article? Because I am totally sporadic on sticking to an exercise program and was looking for some insight into why I always fall off the wagon.

I am going to walk through the top 10 reasons that were listed and see if anything resonates. If you struggle to ‘stick it out’, I invite you to do some analysis right along with me.

1. You don’t have time

I would like to tell myself I don’t have time, but there is that little voice inside my head that coughs out a “Bullshit”. Of course I have time. It’s a matter of not doing something else for those thirty minutes a day.

2. You can’t make the commitment to stick to an exercise routine

Hm, no I can’t even pretend to use that as an excuse. Of course I can make the commitment. My problem is I do not make the commitment.

3. Exercise HURTS!

Psshhh … three children delivered naturally. A tattoo on my inner wrist. Exercise pain? Comparatively small potatoes.

4. You can’t seem to stay motivated to continue working out.

Yep! This one is a big one. The couch is comfortable. Piddling away on the computer is addictive. It’s raining. It’s cold. I have PMS. When it comes to exercising, I am the Queen of Excuse Management.

5. You want to exercise but you have to take care fo the kids and family

Do cats count? No, eh?

6. You don’t know how to exercise

Nope, can’t add this to my list of excuses. I have yoga instructional videos, books on running, and now even my very own virtual running coach, Jeanne Andrus from Ignite!

7. You’re not seeing any changes in your body

Well, that’s part of it, but I know that it is because I never stick it out long enough for my body to transform.

8. You can’t afford a gym membership

I don’t need a gym membership. The two exercise styles I like are running and yoga. Both I can do at home. Besides, if I liked gyms, I could afford the membership.

9. You’ve tried to exercise but you keep quitting

To be honest, not sure why this is in the list. This isn’t an excuse. This is a fact. I keep quitting.

10. You really hate to exercise

Now here is the really stupid thing. I love to exercise. When I am actually doing it, I love it. Now how ridiculous is that?

Okay, so out of the ten reasons listed in the article, the primary reason for me boils down to not staying motivated.

Help me out, ladies!

How do you stay motivated?

Darn Near 50: Do you still want sex?

I have read a lot of articles, and heard lots of comments from other women, that when you are going through perimenopause and menopause you have no desire for sex. Something about your hormones being all out of whack.

I think I am there.

Only it is really weird, because intellectually I do want sex. I like sex, a lot! And quite often I will be the one to initiate. “Hey Marc!” wink wink … and off we fly to the bedroom (or wherever). But once we get there, my body refuses to play along. My mind is still there, but ain’t nothing happening down below.

I wonder, though, how much is hormone related and how much is more state of mind. I find I am either

• too tired, or
• too wired

I work 30 hours a week at my government job and 20 or more hours at Silver & Grace. I have a household to co-run, and I do try to squeeze in some exercise. If we go to bed after 9 p.m., sex just isn’t going to work. Heck, if we go to bed after 8 p.m., sex likely isn’t going to work. I am simply too tired.

Okay, well, a solution is to take a sex break during the day. Except I am too wired. My mind is whirling at 100 miles per hour, and I cannot shut it off. I try to think about the kissing and such stuff, but my brain is writing my next article, or designing my next mentoring module.

When we decide that we are going to take time to enjoy a sexual romp, and allow time for my mind to shut down, my body works just fine. Really really fine.

So, is it hormones?

Or is it the fact that I am a very busy, super creative, darn near fifty year old?

I honestly don’t know.

Be part of my book Darn Near 50!

Your valuable feedback will be used indirectly in the content of the book, or directly as quotes. Before the book is published, I will contact contributors to verify if they want to be anonymous, or if their real names can be used.

Ready?

• What are your experiences with aging and your desire for sex?
• Do you think lack of desire is hormone related, current state of affairs related, or a bit of both?
• Is it important to deliberately take time for intimacy? Do you make that time?

You can provide your thoughts

• right here in the comment section
• email me directly at eliza@silverandgrace.com
• by using this convenient form

Darn Near 50: Afraid to look foolish?

When I was growing up I was a complete chicken. Total scaredy-cat. I wouldn’t attempt anything that I thought might possibly make me look foolish.

I missed out on a lot.

This fear pretty much stayed with me throughout my twenties. In my thirties, I started to test the waters. I went back to school full time. I started singing at open stages.

In my early forties, I was forced to stare another kind of fear right in the eyes. The fear of being alone and lonely. After conquering that fear, the other fear started to dissipate. Having come into my own, I no longer seemed to be attached to what other people thought of me.

This lead to a huge epiphany!

People can only perceive me as being foolish based on their own world view.

Perceive away, folks! That is your right. But when I am being true to myself, I am never being foolish. Even when I publicly make mistakes, I am not being foolish, I am simply being human.

Holy crumpets! The FREEDOM associated with this epiphany is incredible. I just get to be me, and in being me, I can try out all sorts of fantastic things.

This week I even appeared on TV. LIVE!

The scaredy-cat me would never have done that in a million gazillion years. The true-to-myself darn near fifty me had an absolute blast.

I wonder what I will be doing at darn near one hundred?

Be part of my book Darn Near 50!

Your valuable feedback will be used indirectly in the content of the book, or directly as quotes. Before the book is published, I will contact contributors to verify if they want to be anonymous, or if their real names can be used.

Ready?

• Do you relate to my fear of appearing foolish?
• In what way did that fear, or does that fear, limit you?
• Looking back on your younger years, what are you doing now that you never would have done back then?

You can provide your thoughts

• right here in the comment section
• email me directly at eliza@silverandgrace.com
• by using this convenient form

Darn Near 50: Time to turn off your period?

Let’s go back in time to a thirteen year old me. Short, skinny, no real sign of any boobs, and no period.

Drama! Tragedy! No period! All my friends have their period. My younger sister has her period. But not me. How come everyone else has crossed into womanhood? What is wrong with me?

Obviously, I finally did get my period, although I was likely closer to fourteen. I was thrilled. My womanhood was confirmed.

Okay, zoom forward to darn near 50. Womanhood-shmonanhood, turn off the freakin’ tap already!

Honestly, I have had enough, but here I am on an exact twenty-eight day cycle. Oh! Except when I am on vacation. Then it doesn’t matter if I ended my period two weeks ago, or two days ago, my period will show up. It is my faithful travel companion.

Now, I know that I should be grateful I am still regular. When I am not, things will start to happen to me, like hot flashes, wild mood swings, loss of libido. I get that. But, those are all potential events; whereas, my period is reality.

I am tired of the muss. In fact, it seems to be getting mussier, because my periods are really heavy.

I am tired of the inconvenience. I use environmentally friendly cloth sanitary pads, but that involves a lot of laundry.

I am tired of sticking things up there … um, most things. *grin*

I am tired of the pain. Some days I literally crawl to the bathroom to have a hot bath.

I am tired of the bloat. For a solid week each month I wail “I have NOTHING to wear!”

I also know that I should be very grateful that my womb is healthy. I have friends and acquaintances who have undergone hysterectomies and were thrust violently into menopause. In fact, I am grateful that my womb is healthy. And very thankful that it created and nurtured three beautiful babies.

I guess I feel it has done its job. Admirably in fact.

I believe it is time for my period to take a well deserved retirement.

Be part of my book Darn Near 50!

Your valuable feedback will be used indirectly in the content of the book, or directly as quotes. Before the book is published, I will contact contributors to verify if they want to be anonymous, or if their real names can be used.

Ready?

• Are you still regular, skipping periods, or completely done?
• If you are still getting your periods, what are your thoughts? Similar to mine or still okay with your monthly visitor?
• If you no longer get your periods, what are your thoughts now? Glad to see them gone? Wishing they were back, because of your menopausal symptoms?

You can provide your thoughts

• right here in the comment section
• email me directly at eliza@silverandgrace.com
• by using this convenient form

Darn Near 50: Are girlfriends important to you?

Women were not always important to me. Sure, in high school I hung out with a small gaggle of girls. One of them is still in my life darn near thirty-five years later, and I cherish that friendship. But I was always in awe of women who started off as a gaggle in their teens and are still a gaggle decades later.

Actually, to be quite honest, I never understood it.

Individual women have come and gone in my life, and I honour what they brought to me in that friendship. Some, like my high school friend, have endured the test of time. But note the emphasis on individual women. I never belonged to a community of women, nor had a desire to.

Until I reached my mid forties. Then all of sudden I craved women in my life. In fact, Silver & Grace sprang forth from this craving. I figured if I desperately wanted to belong to a community, then other women did too. So, I set out to create one!

As I approach darn near 50, I cannot imagine life without female friends. I absolutely need to share and explore and cry and laugh with them. They keep me grounded, and I like to think I provide the same for them. By the way, the photograph shows me and two of my special gals.

Maybe its because the longer you live, the more you experience, and the more you need to be part of a group that understands those experiences.

Or maybe its because I have discovered that women my age are a whole heck of a lot of fun!

Be part of my book Darn Near 50!

Your valuable feedback will be used indirectly in the content of the book, or directly as quotes. Before the book is published, I will contact contributors to verify if they want to be anonymous, or if their real names can be used.

Ready?

• How important are female friends to you?
• Have they always been, or did this become more important later in life?
• What benefits do you get from being part of a community of women?
• Is there a unique power that comes from being part of a group? If so, what is that communal power capable of?

You can provide your thoughts

• right here in the comment section
• email me directly at eliza@silverandgrace.com
• by using this convenient form

I Get Ignited! – Timing is Everything For Healthy Habits

I never learn. Every year in March, I pull out my Vibramrunners, and commit to running. In past years, I got really excited and signed myself up for the Ottawa Race Weekend half-marathon in May. This year, I at least learned enough not to that.

However, I did commit myself to doing a 12 week virtual running coaching program with Jeanne Andrus from Ignite Running Adventures for Women.

I got as far as Week One. That was three weeks ago.

Not because I wasn’t enjoying Jeanne’s coaching! It is fun, practical, and motivating. Nope, it’s because I live in Canada, and it turns out I am not a very good Canadian.

As in, I totally hate the cold. Actually, more and more so as I get older. I totally get why my grand-parents were Snow Birds, and why my in-laws are becoming Snow Birds. The cold sucks.

Here is what I need to get through my thick skull:

• The beginning of March will provide teaser warm weather
• This truly is a teaser
• It will snow throughout March and probably into April
• Arctic winds will chill the bones
• I despise running in bone-chilling snowy weather
• I will not run in bone-chilling snowy weather
• I will become disappointed in myself that I started something and then quit
• I should never start running in March. PERIOD. END.OF.DISCUSSION.

So, I owned up to Jeanne that I am a big weather wussy and will start her program from scratch again around mid-April.

When we decide to create any healthy habit, it is critical to bear in mind that timing truly is everything.

• deciding to lose weight two weeks before the Christmas season is not the right timing
• quitting smoking in the middle of an overly stressful work project is not the right timing
• starting a running program in extreme weather conditions is not the right timing

You set yourself up for failure and run the risk of convincing yourself that you not capable of making those healthy changes to your life.

Fortunately, Jeanne is an awesome running coach and she said “No problem. Let me know when you are up and running again … literally.” As a matter of fact, she lives in warmer climes and advises her in person clients not to start in the middle of the summer. It is simply too hot, and they will set themselves up for failure.

Mid-April I am igniting a fire under my butt and I will be back to running. And next spring, I just might remember to hold off on resuming my running until Canadian weather is a little more bearable.

Products for Women By Women

The following books have the Silver & Grace Seal of Approval as excellent resources for helping form healthy habits. They are available through Amazon.

The Hardline Self Help Handbook: What Are You Willing to Do to Get What You Really Want?
The Velveteen Principles for Women: How to Shatter the Myth of Perfection and Embrace All That You Really Are
Work with Passion in Midlife and Beyond: Reach Your Full Potential and Make the Money You Need

Next Page »