Darn Near 50: Is food making you sad?
I live with a foodie. As a former chef, my husband loves food. Everything about food. Planning it, preparing it, serving it, eating it. Which makes it really awkward, because lately food makes me very sad. I mean sitting on the couch, complete brain fog, crying sad.
Not because I don’t like food. I do. Not because I eat too much of it. I don’t.
It appears that quite a number of foods now play havoc with my hormones and send me zooming into a depressive state.
Yummy foods!
Notice I didn’t say healthy foods, but definitely yummy. White baguette with artisan cheeses. Wine. Gourmet pizza. Homemade fresh from the oven cookies. Chocolates.
OM NOM NOM!
Followed very closely by WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Pretty much anything that messes with my blood sugar also messes with my emotional and mental state.
You think I would just stay away from these oh so yummy, but toxic treats. I do, but I start feeling all energized and top o’ the world, and I forget. You know that kind of forgetting you do after the pain of childbirth? You know it hurt, but it’s gone, and surely it won’t hurt that badly again. That kind of forgetting.
It starts with one slice of baguette. But, that just begs for another one. Then what the heck? What is baguette without wine? After all, this is a French household. Surely some chocolate will just round off the meal nicely.
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Yep, I just cannot do it and stay on an even emotional keel.
Ah well, I have had Darn Near 50 years of sugary goodness. Hello Greek yogurt.
Be part of my book Darn Near 50!
Your valuable feedback will be used indirectly in the content of the book, or directly as quotes. Before the book is published, I will contact contributors to verify if they want to be anonymous, or if their real names can be used.
Ready?
- Have you developed an intolerance to certain foods? If so, which ones?
- What symptoms do you experience when you indulge in these yummy but nasty treats?
- How successful are you at eliminating them from your diet?
- What foods keep you healthy and happy?
You can provide your thoughts
- right here in the comment section
- email me directly at eliza@silverandgrace.com
- by using this convenient form
Tarot for Writers and Artists
I use Tarot readings, personally and with my clients, for spiritual and personal development. But, Tarot can also be used in your profession as an artist or writer. That’s right! It is a valuable tool, just like your sketch pad, paints and brushes, or computer, journal and pens.
Tarot works by fast tracking you right through to your intuition.
And how does your intuition work? Through the rich world of your imagination. Information is presented to you in words, feelings, even taste and smell. Entire scenarios can play out in your mind’s eye like a movie clip.
Tarot readings are performed by telling a story. First you tell the story of each individual card in a Tarot spread. You then tell the story of the entire reading. You can literally start with ‘once upon a time’ and end with ‘and lived happily ever after’.
Let’s walk through a simple example of someone wondering about a career change, looking at these three cards: Two of Coins; Five of Cups; Ace of Wands.
Once upon a time
I was wondering whether to look for a new job. According to the Two of Coins it was a question of money. Because of my past work efforts, I was nice and comfortable with money. But now I had the potential to make money in a different manner. However, I needed to balance the pros of taking a new job against the cons of taking a new job.
The next card in this story, the Five of Cups, refers to emotions. There are two cups upright and three knocked over. In the Four of Cups there is emotional stability. Five represents something new causing instablity. At this present moment, I sure am feeling emotionally unstable trying to decide about this new job. The man looks like he is thinking things through. What do I need to think about?
Finally, the Ace of Wands. Wands represent creativity and energy. And the Ace talks about brand new beginnings. That’s interesting, in the background of this card is a kingdom. So, in the immediate future I need to take time to think about what new energy and creativity this new job will bring into my life. That kingdom. Hmmm .. fortress …safety. But it is in the distance. Oh! Also, I need to think about whether I am willing to go through a period of unknowns if I take this new job before it becomes stable and safe.
Once I put thought to all this, I can live happily ever after.
That entire story was contained in the symbols and images on just three cards, and I just scratched the surface. There was a whole whack of information I didn’t even delve into. Not to mention the fact, I never even went inside myself to let Tarot inspired visions come to mind.
Now imagine you are writing a book.
You are stuck on some character development or storyline. Drawing some Tarot cards, interpreting them, and allowing inspired visions to come to mind is a perfect method to bust through writer’s block or take the story in a direction you had not even considered.
Or you are staring at a blank canvass
You have no idea where to start with your paints. This short reading alone produced enough images and feelings for multiple paintings. Energy! Castles! A single male figure! Knocked over cups! Travelling to distant kingdoms!
Now here is the clincher. There is a tried and true adage to write what you know. As an amateur artist, I also sketch what I know. Interpreting Tarot is all based on common sense and what you experience in your every day life. It is what you already know.
The beauty is Tarot comes at what you know from an entirely new perspective, rich in imagery and emotion. All which can be captured in your next story or painting.
Ready to tap into the creative power of Tarot for your art or writing?
Have my fun, interactive and common sense Tarot courses sent right to your Inbox by clicking here: Tarot Online Workshops
Discover Your Inner Goddess: Amazon
Welcome to the last article in my series on discovering your Inner Goddess. This all started because I did a Tarot reading for myself using a fun layout that looked at different aspects of my femininity. In each post I share my reading with you and then expand upon the concepts that make up our Inner Goddess. So far, we have looked at:
Mother
Virgin
Siren
Sorceress
Wise Woman
Fairy Godmother
Wife
Hag
Today we close this series with:
Amazon
Amazon – What would I fight for? How can I develop my courage and determination?
Three of Cups – Cups represents emotion and spirit. Three represents the start of stability. I fight for spiritual stability. The three women in this card represent the trinity of womanhood: Maid, Mother, Crone. I fight to embrace all three within myself. I fight to get the word out to other women that enhanced positive energy and contentment comes through embracing all three aspects of ourselves. I develop my determination by walking my talk. By living an energized and contented life.
Amazon in Your Inner Goddess
It is interesting how my Amazon has evolved over the decades. In my twenties she fought to raise babies while in a state of confusion being a mere baby herself. In my thirties, my Amazon fought for a sustainable career, while in a state of confusion about her relationship. In my early forties, my Amazon fought to live on her own for the first time ever, while in a state of confusion about self-image and self-worth.
Now at darn near fifty, my Amazon is ready to fight for other women. Holy crumpets is she ever determined. She has been there, done that, and not only won the battle but the entire war on fear and confusion. Her reward is vibrancy and contentment and she wants the same for other women.
Take a look at the Amazon in your Inner Goddess:
- Have the battles your Amazon has fought evolved or changed over the years?
- Is she battle weary or full of victorious energy?
- How does she keep up her strength and stamina?
- What cause is she passionate about right now?
- In what way is she fighting for that cause?
There is an iron willed chieftess in all of us. Give her a worthy cause and watch what she can accomplish.
Discover the Incredible Power of Tarot
I love working with Tarot. It is a powerful tool to explore answers to life’s challenges or simply bring out wondrous information about yourself. It is also a very simple tool to use once you learn some very basic common sense concepts. I have created a guide to get you up and running reading Tarot quickly. Click here to learn the basics for just 99 cents: Tarot & Oracle Card User Guide.
Want to learn more and perform richer readings? Sign up for my fun and interactive online Tarot courses by clicking here: Tarot Online Workshops
Embracing the fun, sexy, intelligent and real you
Do you feel your Amazon is fighting too many losing battles? Let’s work together through my intuitive mentoring to focus your energy and tap into the power of your Amazon to make real and sustainable life changes. For details check out Eliza’s Mentoring.
Darn Near 50: Time to stop shaving?
Did you know that it never occurred to us to shave our armpits until 1915? And that is only because Harper’s Bazaar magazine said we should. We did not start shaving our legs until Betty Grable showed off her smooth gams in her famous WWII pin-up shot. We did not start shaving our pubic hair until the 1980s, when the porn industry went mainstream, so to speak.
You are probably wondering why I looked this trivia up. It’s because at Darn Near 50 I am starting to resent the amount of time I spend denuding my body of hair.
Seriously, it is quite a time investment when you consider the following areas I shave on an almost daily basis:
- legs from ankles to hips
- full Brazilian down there
- armpits
Now let’s add plucking on at least a weekly basis:
- eyebrows
- that single hair on my chin
- the hair around my nipples
- the random hairs that sprout on my chest above the bra line
- the errant hairs that pop up on my belly above the panties line
Granted, some of that hair is hidden from the general population, and I could get away with not shaving and plucking there. Some of it is a conscious chose, like my pubic hair. I do this for me. Not my husband. Me. It simply makes me feel fresher and touch is more sensual. But, the hair around my nipples, on my breast, and belly does make me feel uncomfortably similar to my primate chimpanzee cousin.
I am also way too indoctrinated into North American societal norms to stop shaving my legs and armpits, and plucking my eyebrows and facial hair.
But do I really want to keep this up for another darn near fifty years? Will I still be shaving my legs and armpits at eighty? At ninety will I even be able to see the hair on my face? Won’t hairy nipples and chest be the least of my worries once gravity stretches and flattens my breasts? And while I plan on having sex for a good long time yet, at some point the effort of shaving off pubic hair really isn’t going to balance out against the increase in sensual sensitivity.
And really, why I am doing this in the first place?
Because a fashion magazine, a pin up model, and the porn industry said I should. Really? I am buying into this?
Apparently, I am.
At least for a little while longer.
Be part of my book Darn Near 50!
Your valuable feedback will be used indirectly in the content of the book, or directly as quotes. Before the book is published, I will contact contributors to verify if they want to be anonymous, or if their real names can be used.
Ready?
- As you age, are you finding hairs sprouting in unexpected places?
- Are you diligent about shaving and plucking, or are you letting places go au naturel?
- What do you think about North America’s obsession with hair removal?
You can provide your thoughts
- right here in the comment section
- email me directly at eliza@silverandgrace.com
- by using this convenient form
Products For Women By Women: Not Dead Yet
I am always on the hunt down for products created by women that will enrich the Silver & Grace community. Well, I definitely found one in the form of the movie Not Dead Yet. Written, produced, and acted in by former model and actress Susan Hess Logeais, this movie manages to capture the agony and joy of the over forty woman in space of 90 minutes or so.
In short, I bawled.
Okay, in one spot I was sobbing.
Not Dead Yet is not a slick Hollywood production. Think more made for TV style filming, so I was admittedly a bit dubious in the first five minutes. But then I started to pay attention to the lives and thought processes of the three women portrayed in the movie. I recognized elements of the experiences and thought processes I had to go through to get to the fun, sexy, intelligent and real Darn Near Fifty me. Oh, well, except for that spot where I was sobbing. Apparently, I haven’t completely gone through that particular thought process yet.
This movie is a dialogue starter. I am all about dialogue, so I have come up with a plan.
You know that book The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants? Three young women share the same pair of pants and write about their adventures in them. Well, I have started the Sisterhood of Not Dead Yet. My copy of the movie will be travelling, and I am asking women to watch the movie and respond to some questions. Their answers will be posted here on Silver & Grace.
In fact, the very first Sisterhood review is taking place tonight by a Book Club! I cannot wait to share their responses to my questions with you.
My goal with Silver & Grace is to open up conversation about this sometimes scary, but more often wonderful phase of being age forty plus. Susan Hess Logeais pulls no punches in Not Dead Yet, and I applaud her for the raw interpretation of this stage of our lives. Thank you, Susan.
I encourage you to rent or buy Not Dead Yet. Watch it alone, or better yet watch it with your girlfriends. Even better yet, watch it with your husband. It is sure to spark some very interesting conversation.
You can rent or buy Not Dead Yet by clicking on one of these options:
Discover Your Inner Goddess: Hag
Welcome to the next article in my series on discovering your Inner Goddess. This all started because I did a Tarot reading for myself using a fun layout that looked at different aspects of my femininity. In each post I share my reading with you and then expand upon the concepts that make up our Inner Goddess. So far, we have looked at:
Mother
Virgin
Siren
Sorceress
Wise Woman
Fairy Godmother
Wife
Today we look at:
Hag
And in last article we will explore:
Amazon
Hag – What in my life is ugly and terrifying? How can I tame this monster?
The Empress – The Empress is the third stage of Maiden, Mother, Crone. She is constantly giving birth to new ideas, dreams and wishes. Interesting that this shows up as my monster, but she is both beautiful and ugly. Ugly because she can run amok causing utter chaos in my life. Creative ideas flow in abundance. I can become overwhelmed and action comes to a screeching stop. How can I tame her? By capturing the ideas down on paper, then releasing them while I focus on actioning just one or two at a time.
The Hag in Your Inner Goddess
No matter how much we invest in our spiritual and personal development there is some aspect that needs work. Quite often, like my creative thoughts, it is a positive aspect of you that has run amok. Perhaps you are very nurturing, but at times this tips the scales into smothering. Or you are very wise, but at times your advice giving becomes meddlesome. Another aspect of me that runs amok is the fact that I am task driven. I know that when there are too many tasks piling up I become officious. I can hear that authoritative tone in my voice and I cringe.
I tame my ‘monsters’ through awareness. Awareness of the fact that I most definitely not perfect, so I self-monitor for aspects of my personality that go a little bit crazy. I don’t beat myself up, I just say to myself “Self, you cannot possibly accomplish all those wonderful ideas and you are bogging yourself down” or “Self, let it go. You sound like a task master. Trust that everything will get done at some point.”
I actually like my hag. Sometimes she can turn into cranky old lady, but she has the wisdom derived from Darn Near 50 years of life. When she remembers to let go and let be, she has a lot to give in a very positive way.
Take a look at the Hag in your Inner Goddess:
- What parts of yourself make you cringe?
- Are they positive traits run amok, or traits that need to be eliminated altogether?
- If they are positive traits run amok, what do you need to let go of in order to tame these traits?
- How do you feel about your Hag? Is she cranky and annoying, or she more like your Wise Woman on a bad day?
Discover the Incredible Power of Tarot
I love working with Tarot. It is a powerful tool to explore answers to life’s challenges or simply bring out wondrous information about yourself. It is also a very simple tool to use once you learn some very basic common sense concepts. I have created a guide to get you up and running reading Tarot quickly. Click here to learn the basics for just 99 cents: Tarot & Oracle Card User Guide.
Want to learn more and perform richer readings? Sign up for my fun and interactive online Tarot courses by clicking here: Tarot Online Workshops
Embracing the fun, sexy, intelligent and real you
Everything in moderation, even positive aspects of ourselves. Struggling to identify the positive side of undesirable traits? Let’s work together through my intuitive mentoring to identify the beautiful side of your Hag and let her wisdom shine forth. For details check out Eliza’s Mentoring.
Darn Near 50: Do you recognize your own face?
I actually wrote this article and scrapped it to start again when I received this incredible feedback to last week’s article from Mary B.:
I looked in the mirror like I have never looked in the mirror before and did not like what I saw. The mortality thing really struck at that point. I am more at peace with myself and like what I see now. It was such a transition at the time. Always feeling and looking young for my age and then to see the ravages of time that came upon me seemingly overnight!
Seriously, this is exactly what I experienced recently. I looked in the mirror and my jaw literally dropped in shock.
“Who are you?” I gasped in horror.
Someone had taken the youthful image of myself and run it through aging software. Only they forgot to show the progression of time. They just jumped from twenty-eight to …OLD!
Forehead furrows, droopy eyelids, sallow skin, non existent lips. When did this happen? Like Mary’s experience, this seemed to have transpired overnight!
Where was the smooth forehead? The bright hazel eyes? The beautifully freckled skin? The full pink lips?
I immediately grabbed for my make-up and straight ironed my bangs across my forehead. Whew! There I was. How wicked of me to pull that nasty aging trick. For shame.
And off I contently went about my business, my vibrant youthful self.
Until bed time, when I washed the paint off my face and revealing the crone once again. I then had to crawl into bed next to my super hot French husband, with horrendous thoughts running through my head. What on earth must he be thinking? Will he be repulsed? I mean fair enough, I was!
Of course, what he was thinking was he couldn’t wait to get his hands on the woman he loves and adores.
The crone in the mirror and I are getting to know each other. Like all new relationships this takes time, but I am starting to see that her eyes are full of wisdom, her face has the most amazing laugh lines, and her lips can burst into the most graceful smile.
No longer strangers, I would say we have moved into acquaintance territory. However, given time I know we can become the best of friends.
Be part of my book Darn Near 50!
Your valuable feedback will be used indirectly in the content of the book, or directly as quotes. Before the book is published, I will contact contributers to verify if they want to be anonymous, or if their real names can be used.
Ready?
- If you went through the same shock looking in the mirror as Mary and I have, I would love for describe your experience.
- When you look in the mirror right now do you see a stranger, acquaintance or friend?
- How does your self-image impact your sensuality and sexuality?
You can provide your thoughts
- right here in the comment section
- email me directly at eliza@silverandgrace.com
- by using this convenient form
I Get Ignited! – Week One
As an intuitive mentor, one of things I am constantly on the look out for are other resources for my clients. I help them care for their inner selves. However, truly embracing our fun, sexy, intelligent and real selves involves so much more. Like our physical health!
Enter Jeanne Andrus from Ignite! Running Adventures for Women. When she asked if I would like to work through her twelve week running coaching program I was thrilled. Here was an opportunity to explore another resource for my clients, and get fit to boot!
Right off the start, Jeanne’s program intrigued me. I have run in the past, so I know that I prefer to run alone. Running groups, therefore, don’t thrill me. But, I also know from experience, I lose motivation. A virtual running coach is an awesome solution. I get to be alone, yet not …. as you will see.
Over the next twelve weeks, Jeanne is going to train me to run a 5K straight through. I have run a 5K and 10K race, and power-walked a half-marathon, but haven’t consistently trained in over two years. So, I figure I am right back to being a newbie.
Today, I got my first coaching package emailed to me. It was full of the following goodies.
Roadmap to Running Readiness eBook
A fantastic little book on Jeanne’s personal background and what led her to running. Then five very important things to think about before you even lace up your first pair of runners. What really impressed me was Jeanne’s coverage of the realities of fitting in a running schedule, including people in your life who just might not like the new health conscious you.
Introduction Video and Transcript
A twenty minute video with Jeanne explaining how the program will work and how to properly run. I have read a lot of running books and articles, but this is the first time someone has ever demonstrated exactly what it means by “run so you can talk comfortably.”
Shoes Video and Transcript
An in depth explanation of finding the proper shoes. In my case, I am sworn ‘barefoot’ runner and love my Vibrams
Stretching Video
A demonstration of warm up and cool down exercises.
Jeanne Talking
Three MP3 files, one for each run, of Jeanne talking me through the paces. I don’t have to worry about looking at my watch. Jeanne is going to tell me when to walk, when to run, and when to stretch.
Walking Schedule
Should I want to walk on the days I am not running, I also got a walking schedule. And just in case I want to go totally crazy, the schedule includes some toning exercises.
I will be posting weekly on my Ignite! virtual coaching experience. I invite you to follow along as I run my way to health … with Jeanne’s help.
Let’s motivate each other!
If you are working on your own health and/or fitness goal I would love for you to share your experiences as well. We can cheer each other on.
Embracing the fun, sexy, intelligent and real you
Most of the time, getting physically fit requires looking at more than food and exercise. To quote Jeanne “I realized I could take the mess my life was in and USE it to challenge myself to become the best I could be!” Your life might not be a mess, but there sure might be some glitches blocking your path to health and fitness. Let’s work together to remove those roadblocks and get you tearing off down the road to the fun, sexy, intelligent and real you. For details check out Eliza’s Mentoring.
Discover Your Inner Goddess: Wife
Welcome to the next article in my series on discovering your Inner Goddess. This all started because I did a Tarot reading for myself using a fun layout that looked at different aspects of my femininity. In each post I share my reading with you and then expand upon the concepts that make up our Inner Goddess. So far, we have looked at:
Mother
Virgin
Siren
Sorceress
Wise Woman
Fairy Godmother
Today we look at:
Wife
And in future articles we will explore:
Hag
Amazon
Wife – What are you married to? How do you devote yourself to others?
Death – I love this card! It means natural endings necessary for rebirth. I am ‘married’ to cycles. I love cycles! Creation – evolution – decay – death. Cycles fascinate me. I am married to the process of my own cycles and being aware of my processes. I then devote myself to guiding women through their own cycles. In particular, helping them through the Death stage which can be scary and unsettling.
Wife in Your Inner Goddess
Marriage is a partnership that involves a combination of independence and dependence. Achieving the right balance can be tricky, but once it is mastered the whole truly is greater than the sum of its part.
I find this with the passions in my life such as my fascination with cycles. If I spend too much energy observing and analyzing the cycles in my life, I actually screw them up because I am not going with the flow. If I devote too much time guiding other women through their ebbs and flows, I lose sight of my own.
Just like my partnership with my husband, my marriage to my passions requires fine tweaks along the way. But when everything is perfectly aligned, I am one very contended ‘wife’.
Take a look at the Wife in your Inner Goddess:
- What passion is she married to?
- How much time does devote to this ‘marriage’?
- Does her identity get lost, such that if the ‘marriage’ suddenly ended she would have no sense of self?
- How does she maintain the balance between independence and dependence?
Discover the Incredible Power of Tarot
I love working with Tarot. It is a powerful tool to explore answers to life’s challenges or simply bring out wondrous information about yourself. It is also a very simple tool to use once you learn some very basic common sense concepts. I have created a guide to get you up and running reading Tarot quickly. Click here to learn the basics for just 99 cents: Tarot & Oracle Card User Guide.
Want to learn more and perform richer readings? Sign up for my fun and interactive online Tarot courses by clicking here: Tarot Online Workshops
Embracing the fun, sexy, intelligent and real you
Have you lost your sense of self devoting yourselves to others? Let’s work together through my intuitive mentoring to regain your sense of self and finding balance between giving and simply being. For details check out Eliza’s Mentoring.
Darn Near 50: Skipping 49
This year, I technically turn forty-nine. I say technically, because I have decided I am going to skip forty-nine. Well, maybe not skip it so much as ignore it.
Why?
Because for the first time in my life, I am struggling with my age. Twenty-nine? M’eh. Forty? Whatever. Forty-nine? Eek!
Weird, eh? And what is even stranger is the fact I am totally excited about fifty.
Even saying forty-nine is a downer. Literaly, the voice drops when saying nine. Go ahead, give it try. Say forty-nine out loud. See what I mean?
Now say fifty. Not only does the voice go up on the ‘ty’ part, but your facial muscles pull up into a smile.
My odd mindset was the topic at a recent dinner party with friends, and an over forty-nine friend proposed an explanation. She said that forty-nine is the end of a cycle. You are the old lady in the Thirties & Forties crowd. Fifty, on the other hand, is the start of a new cycle, and you are once again the young chick.
This is a very reasonable explanation, but it still doesn’t help the fact that I am not happy with saying I am forty-nine. Fortunately, I discovered a powerful way to get around this. Now when asked how old I am, I say with pride “Darn near fifty!”
Heck, saying that almost makes me want to pump my hand in the air, like a victory cry.
“Darn new fifty!”
Every Friday from now until I actually turn fifty, I will be exploring what Darn Near Fifty looks and feels like. No holds barred. I will be covering everything that crops up with no censoring. Which means my children and my co-workers likely won’t want to read this, because I will be talking about my sex life, and quite possibly my vagina. But, I certainly hope the rest of you follow along.
And here is the really cool part. At the end of this journey, all my writings will become a book.
Now here is the super cool part! You get to be part of the book! Silver & Grace is all about community, and I want this vibrant community of women to have their say.
Here is how you get to help form and contribute to the book. As you follow along each Friday, I would love for you to provide your thoughts on the topics I explore. You can do that by:
- leaving a comment here on Silver & Grace
- leaving a comment on Facebook
- writing me directly at eliza@silverandgrace.com or using this convenient form
Your valuable feedback will be used indirectly in the content of the book, or directly as quotes. Before the book is published, I will contact contributers to verify if they want to be anonymous, or if their real names can be used.
Ready to travel this Darn Near 50! journey with me? Let’s get started!
- Is there a particular age you struggled with? Which age was it?
- Why do you think it bothered you?
- How did you cope with it?
- How do you feel now looking back?
