Body image: Are we sexy?

Welcome to the fourth installment of the Silver & Grace Body Image Survey results. If you are just joining us now, you can read the first three installments here:

The survey results are in
Do we love our bodies?
Are we willing to go under the knife?

Today we find out if we are sexy.

Apparently we are not!

Here’s the breakdown of the responses:

I do not consider myself sexy and never have – 30%
I used to be sexy, but not anymore – 30%
I wasn’t sexy before, but now I am – 4%
I have always been sexy and still am – 29%
I have always been sexy, but I am even sexier now – 7%

This means that 60% of the respondants do not currently consider themselves sexy. You would think that this would correspond with the 60% of respondants who do not love their bodies. But, this is not the case. Some people loved their bodies, but did not consider themselves sexy. Some people did not like their bodies, but did consider themselves sexy.

Adding to this conundrum, no one age group considered themselves more, or less, sexy than another age group.

What’s going on here?

Okay, when I get totally confused, I start with the dictionary definition of a word.

Sexy:

1. concerned predominantly or excessively with sex; risqué: a sexy novel.
2. sexually interesting or exciting; radiating sexuality: the sexiest professor on campus.
3. excitingly appealing; glamorous: a sexy new car.

Alright, we will use me as a guinea pig and work through these definitions. By the way, I fall into the category of I wasn’t sexy before, but now I am.

Concerned predominantly or excessively with sex

No, sex is not my predominant thought, but it is certainly a daily thought. I do love sex! I make no bones about that. However, even though I have always loved sex, I have not always considered myself sexy. Hmmmm ….

Sexually interesting or exciting; radiating sexuality

Ah, now this statement explains why I have not always considered myself sexy. I honestly did not think I was sexually appealing, and this was sadly validated by the distinct lack of interest in me by the men in my life. Heck, we could go right back to public school and high school when everyone seemed to have a boyfriend except me.

It wasn’t until I was single in my early forties that I decided for myself that I was sexually interesting and exciting. This translated to me radiating sexuality, and men in return responded to my vibes and said “Wow, are you ever sexy!” This in turn made me feel even sexier.

Excitingly appealing; glamorous

Again, it wasn’t until I really took the time to get to know and love me, that I finally considered myself exciting, appealing, and yes, even glamorous. I became physically fit, changed my wardrobe from drab to chic, let my hair grow long and become its natural gray, and started experimenting with make up to play up the sparkle in my eyes.

I owned me!

And along with this, I owned my power as a woman. I didn’t turn into a big flirtatious tease. I just mean that I know when I walk into a room, most times I radiate feminine energy, and this turns heads. Not just male heads, but female heads as well.

And I don’t shy away from sexual attraction, male or female. I acknowledge that people may be attracted to me sexually, and I take that as a compliment. I don’t feel any need to pursue it, because I have one poker hot Frenchman at home. But to me, sexual energy is a healthy and normal part of the human experience.

I believe sexual energy denotes a comfort and confidence with one’s body and brain. And in keeping with my belief system, it is also a crucial component in the cycle of life and death, and the balance of male and female energy.

So, back to the survey results, I come up with two possible conclusions:

1. 60% of us are not currently experiencing a comfort and confidence that allows us to own our feminine power, and/or
2. 60% are not comfortable with being sexual creatures

Either way, I feel sad about these results, because I know how much my sexual self contributes to my powerful, happy self. It’s all part and parcel of who I am.

Once again, this is my interpretation. Let’s get the conversation flowing. What does sexy mean to you? How do you explain 60% of us believing we are not sexy?

More information!

Here is the posting schedule for the rest of the survey results.

April 14 – How do we view our body parts?
April 21 – Who do we compare ourselves to?
April 28 – Are we satisfied with our weight?
May 5 – Are we looking forward to aging?

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