Book review: I Love You And I’m Leaving You Anyway
I believe I can sum up Tracy McMillan’s book I Love You And I’m Leaving You Anyway in one word.
Gritty.
grit·ty
1. consisting of, containing, or resembling grit; sandy.
2. resolute and courageous; plucky
Yep, definitely gritty.
In a very good way, I might add!
Resembling grit
You know when you are walking along the beach and you get sand in your shoes? And the walk along the beach is extremely pleasurable, but the sandy grit in your shoes is a bit painful? That’s exactly what it felt like reading this book.
Extremely pleasurable because it is a well told and written story, and I didn’t want to put it down. A bit painful because Tracy was hitting just a little too close to home.
Not because my dad is a convicted pimp and drug dealer. Tracy’s dad is.
Not because my mom is a former prostitute. Tracy’s mom is.
Not because I have lived in foster homes. Tracy has.
Because Tracy all too well writes about what it is like to doubt being a desirable woman, worthy of a strong stable loving relationship. This I could relate to!
Regardless of childhood and upbringing, I am sure it is something we all struggle with as women at some point in our lives.
Resolute and courageous
Did I mention Tracy’s dad was convicted drug dealer and pimp, her mom was a former prostitute, and life consisted of foster care?
Sounds like the perfect recipe for an Oh Poor Victimized Me story.
Instead, what we get is an honest assessment of Tracy’s life with no trace of lingering bitterness. I say ‘lingering’ because she takes us through each emotion felt during the various stages of her life. Bitterness. Outrage. Anger. Grief. Fear. But it is very clear Tracy is simply reliving those emotions for us, not still trapped by them.
There is a very fine line between blaming someone for your undesirable behaviours, such as drug and alcohol abuse, and explaining your behaviours in terms of other people’s influence on your choices. It is all too easy to slip into absolving oneself of accountability over one’s actions.
However, Tracy takes a very interesting approach. Each chapter juxtaposes the events of her upbringing against the development of a more recent day relationship. In this way, we see how her past experiences led to her current choices. As do our own past experiences! But, there isn’t a trace of sensationalism or dramatizing to be found.
Instead, we see how one woman resolutely and courageously works her way through the pain and disappoints of childhood to become a strong, whole and healthy woman.
I would love to hear your thoughts
I summed up Tracy’s life story with the word gritty. If you were to write your life story, what one word would you use to sum it up?
More information!
Make sure you return on August 11, 2010, to win a copy of I Love You And I’m Leaving You Anyway.
You can follow Tracy McMillan on Twitter at http://twitter.com/TracyMcMillan
This book review was sponsored by TLC Book Tours. To read more reviews of I Love You And I’m Leaving You Anyway, please check out the schedule by clicking here.
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I like the way you write. I think I would call my life lively with all of the different people and activities, but definitely not gritty.
@Diana – hi there! I like Lively. There is tons of positive energy associated with it. My word to sum up my life is Varied
Determined!!!
@Joanna – I hear ya!
Wow! This sounds like a really well written memoir. Having come from a dysfunctional family (though my dad wasn’t a drug dealer and pimp, nor was my mother a prostitute), I have little tolerance for people who are defined by their childhood. Sure, your childhood shapes you, but it doesn’t have to define you for your whole life. It sounds like Tracy understands that. How refreshing!
Thanks for being on this tour!