Over the course of our lifetime, we all experience toxic relationships. Not just with lovers, but friends, bosses, and co-workers. We struggle painfully when we are in them, and we strive to understand them once we are free of them.
Often, we are able to find a pattern to the type of toxicity. It is at this point, we can work on ourselves, because that’s the only way we break free of destructive cycles.
I had my own pattern to break free of, and when I read Lori Hoeck’s and Betsy Wuebker’s The Narcissist: A User’s Guide, I could finally make sense of it all.
Lori and Betsy allowed me the honour of previewing their eBook, and I provided them with the following testimonial:
I had two narcissists in my life. The first one lasted 16 years, the second one 6 months. Seems I am learning to identify their existence in my life, and impact, faster. But, I sure wish I had the The Narcissist: A User’s Guide during these painful periods.
Recovering from the damage of these relationships was slow, and I thought I had wiped the last trace of their impact on my psyche clean away. But, when I read The Narcissist: A User’s Guide, each word leaped off the page at me and flooded me with relief.
It was like the Roberta Flack lyrics, “strumming my life with his finger,” only Betsy and Lori were strumming my life with their words. They confirmed that everything I experienced was very real. The damage to my psyche was very real. And the length of time it took to recover was very real.
I recommend The Narcissist: A User’s Guide to anyone who suspects they are dealing with a narcissist. You will learn, like me, that you are not crazy. And with this knowledge, you will gain the strength to untangle yourself from the Narcissist trap.
However, I have to be honest. This was my second testimonial. The carefully thought out one. But I want to share my initial testimoninal with you, because it’s a much better indication of the impact The Narcissist had on me.
Two words and two words only:
And that was just the Word document version.
Then they sent me the final product, designed by Deb Dorchak of Sirius Graphix. My reaction to this?
The Narcissist: A User’s Guide is a work of art by the authors and the designer. Clearly this is combined effort of a team who truly believe in the book’s message.
This is not a guide for hunting down the Great Evil Narcissist. Narcissim is a personalty trait, not a human abheration. I know the narcissists I was associated with struggle with their place in life each and every day of their lives.
No, this is a guide that helps you recognize the narcissistic traits that you are attracted to. That’s right, attracted to. Because we invite them into our lives for a reason. And until we figure out what that is, we cannot ask them to leave. Nor can we make sure we never open the relationship door to other narcissists.
If you are unhappy in any of your relationships, please read The Narcissist. It just might help you break free of your unhealthy patterns and set you off down a path of happiness and freedom.