Having devoured Betsy Wuebker’s first book when it was released, The Narcissist: A User Guide, I was thrilled when she released her second one. The Narcissist at Work, co-wriiten with Becky Blanton, addresses how to identify and deal with toxic people in the work place.
I am no stranger to narcissim. I was intimately involved with a narcissist for a substantial period of time. Wish I had Betsy’s first book then; I might have decided to leave sooner … or, at the very least validated that I was not the crazy one. But, in the end, the important thing is I did leave, which you can do in a personal relationship. But, what about narcissists in the workplace? In most cases, you can’t just up and leave.
I had to work closely with a narcissist in the workplace, but by this time I had learned some survival tricks. They worked fairly well, but the situation was still crazy making.
Betsy and Becky do an excellent job of expanding upon their first book. They explain how a narcissist operates in a professional environment, and how they are often promoted — much to the horror of people working for them — because they are brilliant and considered an asset to the company. That and they are adept at being charming to those who are instrumental in helping them achieve their goals, never revealing their dark side.
By providing insight into the mindset and motivations of the narcissist, the authors provide the keys to making your interactions with these toxic individuals bearable. Notice I say bearable. It will never be more than that, and ultimately if the individual gets to stay, you should probably make plans to escape.
At first blush, you might consider Betsy’s and Becky’s language a tad blunt. They do not pull any punches and do not speak the least bit kindly when describing narcissists. However, having been in narcissistic situations where I end up convinced I am the unreasonable one, this language is useful in breaking through the fog.
The authors are upfront about their approach. They state on the cover that they mean business!
“We’re serious. You don’t have to put up with their crap any more.”
If you find yourself dealing with toxic people in the workplace, take back your personal power. Read The Narcissist at Work.