Creating an enjoyable holiday season
I have to admit I dreaded Christmas. Wanting to ensure my three small children experienced nothing but Christmas magic. Financial overload of gifts for children, parents, siblings, nieces, nephews. Going all out with baking, and decorating, and being the perfect hostess.
There had to be a better way!
And a couple of years ago, I figured it all out, and I have had the BEST Christmases ever since.
Do you really need to buy a gift for everyone?
My brothers and I decided that we would only buy each other gifts if something jumped out that said ‘you have to get this for your sibling’. This means we can go several years without buying a gift for a sibling. And we are totally cool with this.
We also decided that we will take care of our own children, so we do not buy gifts for our nieces and nephew.
I do not buy for friends or co-workers. As a team leader, I give all my team members home baked goodies. And friends who drop by, or we visit, also get a small tray of goodies.
Does the credit card need to melt?
I set a strict budget. And I tell my kids what that budget is. They have $x for their birthday and $x for Christmas. They can combine the two budgets together if they want something major. If they can’t think of a gift adding up to the total, they get the balance in cash.
One year, my son really wanted a drum set. That cost him two years worth of birthdays and Christmases, which meant he went through 18 months with no presents to unwrap. But it was his choice and he was thrilled to get the drum set.
As for my parents, my brothers and I often pool our resources. Or I’ll get a gift for one parent and a brother will get a gift for the other parent.
Do you really want to fight the crowds?
I hate shopping. For anything! So, I get in and get out early. You will not find me in the stores after the first week of December.
And if I can buy online, total bonus! There is no better way to shop that curled up in my jammies in front of the fire with a nice cuppa tea.
Does every square inch of the home need to be covered in decorations?
We aren’t getting a tree this year.
Oh, the horror, I know!
But we aren’t even going to be home to enjoy it, so Mr Very Right and I deemed it a heck of a lot of work for very little enjoyment.
I’m just going to place some thoughtfully selected seasonal decorations about the house which will remain there until I start to feel Springy.
Is it really all about the gift giving?
This year, it worked out that all three of my children got their gifts before the calendar page even turned into December. One daughter wanted a Wii and WiiFit to start off a new fitness program in the Fall. So, I bought her the Wii and she bought the fitness board.
My son wanted a PS3 for his birthday in November. This required his Christmas budget too, so he’s all done.
And while we were in the store getting his PS3, I told my daughter and son-in-law to pick out a netbook. Merry Christmas!
What will Christmas really be about?
All of these strategies means, come Christmas Day it will mainly be about games, and tobogganing, food, and the comfort of Christmas traditions. And I will have the energy to enjoy every moment of it.
Your turn:
- What steps have you taken to simplify the holiday season?
- Do you buy meaningful gifts for a select few, or ‘obligation gifts’ for the masses?
Suggested Reading:
HEALTHY LIVING: Taking the stress out of Christmas
Take the Stress out of Christmas shopping
Planning Ahead for Christmas
“I hate shopping. For anything! So, I get in and get out early.” Never thought I’d ever say it, but me too. Half the problem with giving gifts is the “obligation” to buy for everybody… it becomes a chore and usually results in a person making bad choices. I remember THOSE lists and the credit card bills. No more. And then there’s the road rage and parking lot rage
If I had children or younger siblings I’d be shopping this year. My brother and I made the decision to not buy presents. We’ll be having a nice dinner, really good wine and dessert and that is enough. The simpler, the better. Heck, cooking the turkey dinner is stressful enough… geez.
@Davina – in a former life, I was associated with a family that gave gifts out of obligation. One year, there were so many gifts under the tree I actually felt physically ill from the materialism. And not a single person in the room was truly happy. ‘Nice dinner, really good wine and dessert’ is my idea of Christmas.
We all do our best to stay sane at this time of year, so it’s good to see others’ methods. Thanks for this! Love your ideas. We’ll do a tree because for the nine years we were living in a travel trailer (while the house was being built), we didn’t have anything. So, yes to a tree. I like the ambiance. Besides, I left the strings of lights on it when I put it back in the garage last winter! As for the day’s tradition, we keep it simple. Much of the family lives elsewhere and those who are here do their own thing (we live quite a distance). So hubby and I have a special breakfast, a glass of bubbly during the family phone calls, and we make paella for our afternoon meal—something we only have on Christmas Day. As for gifts, we don’t have children, so we made an agreement from the outset to buy something for us/the house. It’s how we got so many of our major items. Other gifts include something meaningful for his mother, something homemade (or time spent together) for my mother (she prefers that), and a small gift for our closest nieces and nephew. My sister and I mail each other homemade kitchen treats. When I was working, it was a white elephant gift exchange for the division-wide potluck luncheon and we drew names for our own department, so the $5 gift was more meaningful, whether whacky or sentimental. All this means there’s very little stress, NO shopping, really, and a nice low-key day. The only thing I can think of that would be better would be to have the whole extended family meet for a skiiing vacation in Lake Tahoe! In my dreams.
I got each of the kiddos a treasure on my walking tour of the UK this summer…my partner is taking the family to a rustic lodge and 2 boyfriends cross country skiing. I am making veggie and ham bone split pea soup, corn bread and a blackberry pie to take with us to the cabins as I write this…and we will warm ourselves with good conversation…
Our Christmas’ have never been better since we gave up the gifts and heavy decorations. Everyone puts some magic in each others stocking – 1 thing…and the kids really wanted a tree this year…Sufi Peace Dancing is up for New Year’s EVE….being with people we wish to be with…going away from the materialism…
I would also add that I just saw Invictus today…Clint Eastwood did a masterful job of telling this important story about South Africa…the film is as good as the book – no lie. I would add watching a good movie to the story telling and celebrations
@Julie – last year Mr Very Right and I were alone together on Christmas Day. The first time in my life without kids and/or immediate family. And it was actually very enjoyable. We just stayed in our jammies all day, watched movies, and made a nice meal together. Your day sounds equally as relaxing and intimate.
@Patricia – I love stockings. Mr Very Right doesn’t do stockings … he leaves it all up to his mother who does EVERYONE. I really missed not being able to pick out stocking items. This year, we are celebrating with my family, so I laid down the the law. My family = Christmas stockings
I hate shopping and I used to get so stressed about all the waste and materialism around Christmas. My ex was very materialistic and the final straw for me was when he forced me to go shopping to buy his presents, the day after I was discharged from hospital.
Since then, I’ve had a policy of no presents for brothers and sisters, unless I can afford it and see something nice. My parents go to Spain for Christmas and insist we don’t buy them anything, which is good.
My husband’s family buy gifts for everyone and he was horrified when I told him a couple of years ago that we weren’t buying them anything – I was skint and I hate shopping anyway. I just don’t go over there on Christmas Day – I have nothing against them, I just find the whole adult mass meaningless gift exchange thing nauseatingly wasteful.
We have five kids between us so it’s enough to buy for. My stepchildren prefer to receive cash or vouchers now, which is nice and easy. Now I just need to pluck up the courage to stop buying for my five nephews and nieces.
Anyway, I’ll get off my soapbox now. This post struck a nerve as I really think the materialism and stress spoils it all. Like you say, having a nice dinner and doing fun things is much more important. Hopefully, if we’re in Canada by next winter, we’ll get to do the tobogganing too.
I do not love the shopping for gifts either. Or the wrapping. Were it up to me I would banish the obligatory gift giving part of Christmas. Same for birthdays too. On the other hand, friends and family are just as likely to get something from me one any other day of of the year. An Un-birthday or Un-Christmas gift as it were, just because I stumbled across the perfect something.
However…I still have kids. So we buy for them and the grandkids. Everyone else…not so much, unless I find something I can’t resist.
To me the holidays are about spending cozy time with family. That’s what I love the most.
I’ve done the nothing fer nobody Christmas, the full-on obligatory gift-giving Christmas, and the make everything from scratch Christmas. I would prefer a: Good-bye for the week, we’ll be in Hawaii for Christmas, but we don’t have the money.
I like the sanity of your approach!
@Cath – interesting how we all feel we need to ‘pluck up the courage’ to say no to gift giving. What do we honestly think is going to happen? That the receivers will think less of us? That there will be weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth? We all do it. And then when someone does finally speak up and say a firm ‘no more’, others are greatly relieved. And the pouty ones? They get over it.
@Wendi – I am with you on the random ‘I love you gifts’ as opposed to Christmas and birthday gifts. But I am also willing to work somewhat within the established traditions, so twice per year it is. But I rarely have to ask Mr Very Right or my kids what they want, because I am also listening for their needs and desires. It’s like a treasure hunt, and this year’s response from my son-in-law to my daughter was my reward at the end of the rainbow “Wow, your family is so cool and thoughtful.”
@Lori – I have always wondered what it would be like to just go away for Christmas and spend it on a beach somewhere. In the past, the idea of not being with the extended family woudl have horrified me. Now, with the kids grown, we are rarely all together on the 25th anyway. I was thinking Mexico, but Hawaii would be even better!