Graceful Women: My Father’s Wisdom

For my research on wisdom, I asked some Silver & Grace women what wisdom meant to them. Becky Faust-Roberts responded: “My dad”. Well, you know me. I couldn’t let that one go, and I asked Becky to share the story of her dad.

This is Becky’s story:

The beginning

It began in 1952 when I was born to Alan and Velma Faust in Louisville, KY. I was the only child and a “late in life” baby. I did not know when I was an infant that I was to be privileged not just in life, being born into money but privileged to be the daughter of such a wonderful man such as Alan H. Faust. I also did not know that I would loose my mother through death at 17 years of age. His wisdom carried me through this tragic event and he became more than just a Father. He became my mentor, my teacher, my confessor and my friend. And, his wisdom would carry me through.

I was raised in Indianapolis, IN. My Dad had been in the Liquor Industry since he was 18, born and raised in Springfield, IL having lost his own Mother and being told to leave the home of his own Father and step-mother. He never indicated to me if this was a hardship for him. He simply moved on to create his own life and what a wonderful life it was! I had all of the possessions that an only daughter of two wealthy parents could give a young girl; the best clothes, the best schools, lessons of all diversities and social events at the Country Club. However, this was not where the wisdom of my Dad was found. It was found in how he treated those around him and the effect he had on all of those whom he came in contact with.

His teachings

Wisdom by definition means “the accumulated knowledge of life or a sphere of activity that has been gained through experience“. Dad’s wisdom was there for my taking and it has made me the woman I am; one whom many say..“marches to the beat of her own drummer” which is a wonderful way to live!

He taught me to love un-conditionally. “To have a friend, you must be a friend” he would say and “best friends come along once in a lifetime, if you are lucky”. “You come from money and breeding but do not ever become pretentious. It’s not worth it. ” In these words, I learned to blend with all walks of society. He saw no color when he looked at the world and it’s human inhabitants. He met no strangers. He loved all animals, dogs and horses specifically .“ Just talk to a dog or a horse and they will listen..you can soothe them with your words”.

This was a man who was not afraid to cry or let others see him or hear him do so. He was able to process the world and it’s tragedies for me so I could accept them. He may not have had the answer as to why something happened, but he was there to let me vent or sometimes..”just let it out, honey..I’ll just sit here on the phone with you until you are through”. When the shootings at Columbine happened and 911 hit our soil after he passed in 1998, I suddenly realized how much more I missed him since his passing. He would have helped me make sense of it all, if there was any sense to make out of it even if it was simply, “this too, shall pass” because the reality of it is, it always does and we move on to the next event, tragic or otherwise.

His legacies

When I was working as a drug and alcohol abuse counselor he was taking a calligraphy course. He beautifully wrote a poster of sorts which said, “This too shall pass…and Nothing lasts forever”. I took this to work with me and posted it to a board as I was counseling. A young man who had been struggling with a cocaine addiction would tell me later that this quote and his added words helped him beat the demons inside of him and he was able to return home to his wife and children and back to the successful printing business he once started before his addictions had taken control of his life! My Dad would never know this as he passed before I could tell him. However, yet another legacy left to one more person to successfully accomplish his life’s dreams!

I eulogized his funeral as did many others. As an actor in community theatre this may have been the hardest “role” I had ever played yet I felt I owed this to him for all the wisdom he gave me. I learned at the service just how many lives he had touched! A “packed house” it was, as they say! I ended my eulogy with one of the things my Dad use to say to me every opening night which I have shared with many over the years: “Walk out on that stage like you own the joint!” Words for actors and words for life in general that have taken me through job interviews, etc., and given me the courage to LIVE when sometimes, I have felt I had no more life left in me. He was a man who progressed with the times and kept going in the face of adversity.

I also learned from a colleague of my Dad’s along my journey that he wrote consistent letters to a man in prison. These letters helped this man battle the atrocities of prison life and he is now out and doing well and has become successful in his battle with his sociopath behavior.

His touch

Sometimes when I am alone, I wonder if Dad is still proud of me. At his funeral, a colleague and good friend said..”you were the light of your Father’s eyes and always will be”. Sometimes but not often I can feel his touch on the back of my head as he did so much in life which meant..”I know it’s hard but you will prevail!” And then there are those times when I can actually hear him in my head saying, “good choice, honey!” when dealing with a decision. And I’m not so sure he did not actually save my life one day in a pasture with a playful horse seemingly content in not wanting me to leave! Suddenly the horse, as if led the other direction stopped and let me pass to get out of a rather dangerous situation!

And the last piece of wisdom my Dad gave me was the following: I asked him when he was in his mid-eighties why he never taught me how to battle those at work and in life seemingly wanting me to fail. He said,..“this, I cannot teach you. This is something you will need to learn on your own.” I would not know until after he passed that this was true; that every situation is different and we are confronted by individuals with their own agendas every day though out our lives and that “This too shall pass…and Nothing Lasts Forever”, so do something about it and move on!

I love you, Dad. He is and always will be, “The Wind Beneath My Wings”!

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