Graceful Women: Second Chances

For my post on Empty Nest Syndrome is very real, Wendi Kelly wrote:

My first batch are now 27 and 32 and when I got here the first time, I chickened out as I saw empty nest syndrome coming down the road and started over! …and my grandaughter and my daughter are only a few months apart.

This intrigued me, and could easily have been me. By the time I was in my early thirties, my children had entered their teen years. Had the man I was with been the right man for me, I would have started over myself.

Wendi is author of Life’s Little Inspirations, and here is her story on second chances:

My life as a parent began early at sixteen. Being a single mother meant working two jobs while putting myself through school, living on my own, and surviving on a thimble’s worth of sleep.

My twenties flew past in a blur of young marriage, a second child, diapers, kindergarten, my own continued education, divorce, my oldest in junior high, a continual lack of sleep and finally-that moment I had been waiting for, the day I turned thirty and both of my children were old enough to take care of themselves long enough for mom to take a deep breath.

With my thirties came a new marriage and a more relaxed lifestyle that meant I was finally able to be the relaxed fun parent I had always imagined myself to be in the recesses of my mind.

Except that by then, the little children I imagined having that life with had grown. They were independent teenagers and no more interested in spending their time with mom then getting their tonsils out. Don’t get me wrong, my children and I had a wonderful relationship yet still, I became acutely aware of just exactly how much I had missed during all the struggling along the way.

I remember a particular Christmas morning, wrapping paper strewn about the floor and gifts all opened, I looked at my two beaming children and the moment freeze-framed in my mind. I was thirty-two years old. My two children were already sixteen and eleven. There was no more Santa, no more baby powder fresh children to tuck in at night.

The years were rushing by and my kids were rushing with them. Empty Nest Syndrome was looming in the not too distant future and I just…couldn’t…face it. My life had finally settled down into a grown-up normal world and by the time I got there, I had missed…everything.

However, it didn’t have to stay that way. My new husband wanted children of his own, so together we made the decision to begin again. At thirty-four our son was born. At age thirty-seven, I became pregnant once again, with a little girl.

Life has a funny way of throwing curve balls when we least expect it. While I was busy starting over, my oldest daughter was busy starting out. So at age 20, newly married, she also became pregnant, a few months after me- with my future granddaughter.

Yes, we endured the jokes about the Father of the Bride part two movie, and yes, we were both at the same hospital with the same doctor, but thankfully, we had six months apart to soften the edge.

Life also has a funny way of working things out if you step aside and let it.

Last night, we had all the kids over. My two oldest, their spouses and the grandkids. (There are now two) The two girls, growing up more like sisters then aunt and niece are off to play.

My youngest son is getting ready for his first homecoming dance and has his older brother and sister right there with all the tips and advice he could ever need and saying all the things he would never want to hear from good old mom and dad.

I look around, and the house is warm, cheery, full of laughter and love. Funny, my two youngest are twelve and fifteen and once again Empty Nest Syndrome is looming in the future. The family has grown. I know in my heart that they will always come home. I smile, content. This time I am ready.