Graceful Women: You are an Empty Nester when …
Linda Abbit responded to my Empty Nest post by pointing out that you can get hit with the double whammy of Empty Nest and losing a parent.
I *thought* I had gone through empty nest syndrome when our son left for college in the Fall of 07, but now I’m not so sure. I was busy caregiving my mom, and now that she passed away in May, I have this intuition that it’s just beginning. I’ve been a big mess of emotions and tears since then, but will sort it out I’m sure. I know I have to give my self time to process these huge changes in my life.
I loved her openess in expressing her emotions, and the fact that she was being realistic about the time needed to heal. A perfect Graceful Women Series candidate.
I would say from her wonderful words below that she is well on the road to adjustment, and in typical Linda fashion has flipped a painful period in her life into something fun and playful.
Linda is the author of Tender Loving Eldercare and here is how she knows she truly is an Empty Nester:
You Know You’re an Empty Nester When . . .
1. You create a Facebook profile as a new means of communicating with your children
2. You decide texting isn’t so hard to do after all
3. You are thrilled when your children call you before you call them
4. You throw away food you and your husband haven’t been able to eat before it spoiled
5. Your electric and water bills drop significantly
6. You miss doing their loads of laundry . . . NOT!!
7. Your wallet mysteriously stays full of money for days on end
8. You can actually fall asleep without worrying what time they will get home
9. Your children say they miss you and even thank you at times
10. You don’t have to lock your bedroom door any longer 
I’ve known Linda a good long time, and she is the most loving, compassionate person I know. Oh, yeah – and funny too. (Maybe not as funny as Jeff.)
Loved the Top 10 list by Linda! Now if I could only get my kids to “friend” me on Facebook . . .
Carla
@Tina – thanks for dropping in. I have never met Linda in person (such is the blogging world), but her compassion comes through loud and clear in her writing.
@Carla – be careful what you ask for
My young adult children and young adult neices and nephews have all Facebook befriended. Trust me, they post some stuff on their moms and aunts really don’t want to know. Seriously though, my family uses Facebook mainly to share photos. We are all very visual, so we love staying in touch though those photos.
Great article, Linda. I can relate to all your “You know you’re an empty nester when…” points, especially #10. In our case, we had just gotten used to being empty nesters, then our daughter and two children moved back in with us. I miss the empty nester days now.
@Geoff – #10 made me smile. Mind you, we still have to shut the bedroom door tight so that our Houdini of a Siamese cat doesn’t bust his way in.
You’re totally right Tina. Linda is the best!!!!! It’s been a tough year — but she’ll weather the storm. And Linda, the empty nesting DOES get easier. Eventually you will appreciate the silence.
OMG Linda, I related to almost every single one of your 10 points about being an empty nester! You really know how to relate to your readers and your friends
It was so validating to read what you wrote. I have yet to get Derrick to “friend” me on Facebook…..but I’m not so sure that’s a bad thing 
Ignorance is bliss!
This is awesome and Linda, you’re the best … although, I can’t say I relate just yet. With a 7 and a 9 year old still attached to my every move, I can’t even imagine the time when my wallet stays full and miss matching up all those little socks. Love and hugs!
@Carol – ah the silence. I went from Empty Nester to having a child in the house again, when I moved in with Mr Very Right. Not that he is a noisy child by any stretch of the imagination. But there always seems to be background noise. Sometimes I take a day off of work just to revel in the silence
@Cindy – ignorance can be bliss for sure … especially where my son is concerned
I totally related to Linda’s list as well. I remember the first time I texted one of my daughter’s on her cell phone. “Mom! When did you learn to text?” Like I had just accomplished some great feat. *chuckle*
@JoAnne – your wallet doesn’t remain full even after they’ve left the house. I’ve been an empty nester for over 5 years, and it’s only been the last couple of months that I haven’t heard “Mom, would you mind helping out with ….?”
Dear Friends,
I am so grateful for your love and support — both here and in my life. You make the journey that much easier.
I recently heard a description about the people who love you standing so close around you, completely encircling you, that you can’t fall down. You are those people in my life. Thank you deeply!
@Linda – thank you so much for being one of my Graceful Women.
LOL @ the top 10 list! All the “little things” in our everyday lives really turn out to be big things, huh?! xo
@Diana – when my kids left home I was quite shocked at how much structure they had provided me. Even as independent teenagers. For me, all those daily little things did indeed turn out to quite big things
I sat hear smiling with tears ready to roll as I read Linda’s post. I’m a big fan of her blog and agreed with every word as this is our first year as empty nesters.
@Mary – I found the first year very tough. Okay, no, I’ll be honest. I found the first 2 years tough. But also a period of huge growth as I discovered what it was like to really be ‘me’ and not ‘mom’. I had to chuckle when I received Linda’s post. I gave her a word count maximum of 600 words, and she sent back a short and sweet list. But boy, did she ever pack a punch into that list!
My husband and I met and married late in life, so no kids, but we’ve been caregivers for my mom for years now. Kudos and hugs to Linda for loving everyone through the toughest mom and daughter times there can be.
@Lori – I loved Linda’s sense of play when I asked her if she would contribute a post. Given the double whammy of grief she was experiencing (death of her mom, empty nest), I fully expected a serious post. It spoke volumes for her spirit to receive such a light hearted and fun post.
Linda is such a beautiful person……..of course, she would share her feelings and write such a great article. Such strength……………….
@Audrey – hello, and thanks for dropping in for a visit. And yes, I loved Linda’s approach to this article too.
Very well said and so very true. I share in your feelings Linda. The way it is with me… I am blocked from his IM and certainly not on his long list of facebook friends, but he does give me a big hug when he visits and I will always stop what I am doing to answer his call. They say it is called roots and wings. So he flew!
@Brady – you don’t necessarily want to be a Facebook friend. Trust me, there are pictures on there you might not want to see. I look forward to my girls’ photos, but my 22 year old son … hmmmm, sometimes not so much
But, like your son, I get a big hug when he visits, and he pops up on IM once a day to have a quick “hey whassup” conversation with me.