Interview: Author Al Weatherhead on adversity

It always intrigues me how people deal with adverse situations and circumstances in their lives. Personally, I have gone from ignoring adversity, hoping it will go away, to facing it head on.

I prefer the face it head on approach. As initially scary as it seems, my life is always so much better when I just deal with things.

Al Weatherhead is author of The Power of Adversity. As always, after reviewing a book, I am eager to dig a little deeper. Here are Mr. Weatherhead’s additional thoughts on the personal power to be gained from facing adversity.

Eliza asked about healing past wounds with parents

I have an excellent relationship with my parents, so I am always taken aback at the number of mid-life adults who are estranged from one or both of their elderly parents. You moved away from your father as a young man and believe that was an excellent move for you, in that you separated yourself from identifying with your father, his life, and his business. Later in life, however, you reunited with your father. I understand the need for separation from our parents. We all do that to varying degrees in order to grow as adults. But I also believe it is equally important to reunite with our parents as part of our growth.

What did that reunion provide you that you might have missed out on if you had chosen to remain estranged?

Mr. Weatherhead had this to say:

Some time after I had reconciled with my father he was diagnosed with a fatal illness. In the time he had remaining he and I become even closer, culminating in an exchange I will never forget: he asked to shake my hand – something he had never done – and entrusted me with looking out for his business interests and the family after he was gone.

I will always treasure the memory of that handshake… and it would not have occurred if we had remained estranged.

Eliza asked about becoming vulnerable and asking for help

There is a lot of focus on the fact that women typically do not ask for help, and suffer from Super Mom or Super Wife syndrome. It was nice, therefore, to get a male perspective on not asking for help. You admit to suffering from Super Husband and Super Boss syndrome. It wasn’t until you were bedridden and crippled with rheumatoid arthritis that you slowly reached out for help from your wife, Celia. Being okay with vulnerability was a huge paradigm shift for you. I am coming to realize that there is incredible personal strength in allowing oneself to be vulnerable. Yes, I open myself up to disappointment, but that is minor compared to opening myself up to the joy of mutual sharing and trust.

What were some of your fears in asking for help, and did they prove to be unfounded, or at least not as bad as you anticipated?

Mr. Weatherhead had this to say:

My fears at the time were irrelevant. To talk about them would be to ask an individual perched on the ledge of a burning building if he or she had fears jumping into the firemen’s net. In short, I had no choice but to reach out to Celia, and I am so thankful that she was there for me.

Thus, my grueling experience confronting serious, chronic rheumatoid arthritis overcame my fear and reluctance concerning asking for help. As I struggled with the relentless pain, depression and a lack of certainty about the future, I was granted the gift of a lifetime: the opportunity to relearn how to trust others.

In this way, my illness turned out to be one of the best things that ever happened to me, and as such, it proves the central point of my book, THE POWER OF ADVERSITY, which is that our troubles are our blessings which can help us to grow in mind, body and spirit.

Eliza asked about self-analyzing less and acting more

My personal favorite lesson from your book is: Never think “I have to do it”. Instead think “‘I have it to do.” It’s become my mantra when I am procrastinating or waffling on getting something done. Such a simple change of phrase, and yet it takes me from analyzing and thinking to action almost instantly. In my thirties I spent hours and hours on analysis. I analyzed myself, my family, my partners, my children …. Now in my mid-forties, I am starting to see that while some analysis is good, it can lead to analysis paralysis. At some point, you just have to take action, be it right, wrong, or indifferent. I might have to adjust that action, but at least I have created forward momentum.

Do you find that as you aged you became less interested in figuring out why your life circumstances, or your thoughts and behaviors, are what they are, and more apt to just make a decision to change whatever it is and move on?

Mr. Weatherhead had this to say:

I’ve never considered myself a philosophical thinker. By virtue of my personality and my education, I’m a pragmatist who is wired to get things done. And so, to your question, as I’ve aged, I haven’t become less interested in introspection, because I’ve always believed that too much thinking can get in the way of solving your problems and mastering your adversity.

When I make the choice to confront a problem I find it as deeply satisfying as it is empowering. Even if my choice turns out to be wrong, all that does is give me new, additional choices – for each is merely a fork we take on the road of life. Some of those forks are more productive than others, but as long as I keep moving ahead – and don’t slump in surrender on the side of the road – new forks (new choices) will continually be presented to me.

As I see it, my only mistake can be to do nothing. And so I will always take action and see what happens – five minutes or five months from now.

Have your say:

Do you find yourself stuck in self-analysis paralysis? Or are you an enough’s enough type person?
Are there family relationships you would like to heal? If so, what is holding you back?

More information!

You can read my review of The Power Of Adversity by clicking here.

Al Weatherhead is the author of The Power Of Adversity: Tough Times Can Make You Stronger, Wiser, And Better and chairman and CEO of Weatherhead Industries, a private manufacturer of plastic closures for food, spice, pharmaceutical and nutraceutical products.

You can learn more at http://www.powerofadversity.net/

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