It takes more than a New Year’s resolution
A New Year’s resolution is a commitment that an individual makes to a project or the reforming of a habit, often a lifestyle change that is generally interpreted as advantageous. The name comes from the fact that these commitments normally go into effect on New Year’s Day. _ wikipedia
I don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions. They are static. One-offs.
“This year I will lose 10 pounds.”
“This year I will quit smoking.”
“This year I will be nicer to the annoying neighbour next door.”
Done. Stated. Good to go for another year.
Chances are we sat down with a pen and paper and jotted down some things we know we should do. But how much time, thought and effort did we put into those resolutions?
How are you going to lose 10 pounds?
Why is it important to quit smoking?
Why does the neighbour trigger you? And is she really worth the effort?
One day isn’t enough time to contemplate changes I am going to make and commit to for the remaining 364 days of the year. Instead, I prefer to take the entire winter to figure it out.
That’s right. The entire 3 months of Winter, starting at the Winter Solstice.
When we lived in a true agrarian society, Winter was a time to store harvested grain and slaughtered livestock. A time to hunker down, build fires, and wait out the long, cold darkness.
But we also trusted that warmth would return in Spring, seeds would germinate and new livestock would be born.
In our industrial society, we are removed from the natural cycles of the seasons. Electricity keeps our houses well lit. Furnaces keep our houses warm and cozy. Grocery stores provide any food item we like.
But this also means, we have moved away from the spiritual connection to the seasons.
Spring, Summer, Winter, Autumn, our thoughts and behaviours don’t need to change to accomodate the ebb and flow of nature. One day is very much like the rest.
Writing down some resolutions on New Year’s isn’t enough. We need to take time to really figure out what we no longer need in our lives and can kill off, and what we need to keep for growth in the Spring.
I have some ideas for changes muddling around in my head, but it’s too early to share them.
I still have 2 1/2 months to go before I plant the seeds of my ideas.
Your turn:
- Is one day very much like the next for you, or do your behaviours more closely follow the changing of the seasons?
- How do you make lasting changes in your life?
Suggested Reading:
The Winter Solstice
Psyche and the Winter Solstice
The Wheel of the Year
You know, this may be part of the problem why so many people fail at their resolutions. I like your idea of taking the time to decide what changes you will be making. I decided years ago to not make resolutions anymore. It started to feel more like a “should” because everybody else seemed to be doing it. Usually there wasn’t anything I could think of that I wanted to change and just picking something never worked. My heart wasn’t in it.
This year I’ve decided to add more structure to my life; being scattered like I’ve been over the last few months is wearing me out. I’m too old for this
This sounds like a resolution, but it doesn’t *feel* like one, and I can’t explain why. If I figure it out, I’ll be back…
This idea of winter as a time of letting the self think and absorb is like some Eastern concepts I’ve run across in the martial arts. It matches my experiences, too. Guess all that farm life growing up really did stick.
@Lori – I think this is a common theme amongst belief systems; we’ve just gotten away from it.
@Davina – yes, I think New Year’s resolutions are really more of a tradition than actual commitments to change. Your resolve for this year is interesting. I too am trying to be more structured. This is a interesting statement “being scattered like I’ve been over the last few months is wearing me out”. Interesting in that, although I rail against structure, I have far more energy when I am structured.
I also start around the solstice, that’s interesting. Every year a time for reflection and renewal.
I am re-reading Dr. Wayne Dyer’s powerful book “The Power of Intention”
So I suppose I am filled with the desire this year to make intentions rather then resolutions.
It feels different. I suppose it feels different in the way its approached. There is none of that hunker down and attack the offensive habit mentality.
It’s more graceful, more relaxed. Calmer and I don’t have the sense that I have taken up arms and gone into battle….against myself. My entire spirit is in harmony with my intentions.
And no…I’m not sharing mine….yet. Friday at Life”s Little Inspirations.
Come see, it will be beautiful. I promise.
@Wendi – very interesting. When I see ‘intention’ I see an out-card. “Yes, I intend to do it, but it so might not happen.” But not having read the book, I am sure intention is much more in depth than that. And I now intend to read the book.
I am totally with you on the graceful more relaxed approach. The approach I describe in the post is one that means the changes are simply an evolution of who I already am. Not a drastic mutation which a New Year’s resolution seem to entail. I will definitely be over to Life’s Little Inspirations on Friday to check out your evolution for this year.