Stylish dressing after age 40
Women over 40 are sexy. A lot of my best friends are over 40 and they are the most stylish, attractive and outgoing women I know. When you hit 40, you go through a number of transitions. You change both psychically and mentally. Your lifestyle often changes, such as kids leaving home, new job, new relationships. One of the hardest changes to accept, though, is our changing body. Weight distributes differently landing on our thighs and buttocks. Our breasts lose their perkiness.
But before we all run out and throw ourselves off the nearest bridge, I am going to show you that 40 is sexy. It’s all about the right clothes for our changing bodies and attitudes.
Stylish dressing is all about expressing your personality. It is all about not hiding behind baggy clothing, and choosing outfits that give you shape and flatter your figure.
A lot of people will tell you not to dress younger than you are. This is a matter of opinion and should not be taken as gospel. If your 29 year old friends or relatives are wearing fashionable ‘superdry’ jeans that you like, there is no reason why you can’t wear them too. If you are like me and have wider hips and thighs, low rise jeans make your legs and bum look fantastic.
Going out clubbing? Simply use common sense and consider if a particular look is flattering for your figure. A pair of nicely fitting jeans and a top mixed with bold jewelry will make you feel confident and young at heart.
People will also say “forget about being trendy when your 40″. This is such crap. Trends are what you make them. At 40 you have the insight and knowledge to experiment with your own look and create your own personal trends.
If you are concerned with the skin on your neck, consider a nice scarf to add an accent of colour to your outfit. If you have filled out around the middle in the last few years, simply think of jackets, tops and belts that break up your silhouette. Work with your shape and don’t get hang up on what you consider to be your faults.
You might also find that your hair is not as thick as it once was. This is a great excuse to finally get that bold short style you were never brave enough to get. You can accessories your new hair with clips, scarves and hats to add that sophisticated edge.
Now for some really good news! Your legs and shoulders take a long time to age, so this is the time to show them off. Wear knee length skirts to show off those heavenly pins and bold colourful shoes to add to the look. Tops that show off your shoulders can be accessorized with bold jewelry. But remember that show off one or the other to balance your outfit. If you want to show off your shoulders, wear a longer skirt, dress or trousers. If you wish to show off those lovely legs, then cover up on top.
If you have big boobs, get a really good bra from Marks n Spencers or Bravissimo and be measured for the right size. Then draw attention to your fantastic breasts with a V neck or low cut top. You’ve got it, so flaunt it.
If you are slightly overweight, it can be tempting to cover up with baggy clothing. The problem is you are actually adding weight, making you appear larger than you are. Consider clothing that you control the size of, like wrap around dresses. Wear jeans with long tops. Horizontal stripes are out, making you look like a zebra. Smooth out any lumps and bumps with shape wear.
Now let’s talk accessories to give your outfits a boost of colour. Accessories can also give you the confidence you to pull off an outfit.
If you are a handbag lover and have large boobs, then you need a bigger bolder hand bag with a longer handle. This will draw people eyes down to your legs. If you are a little heavier around your bum and tum, then find a smaller handbag with a short handle to attract attention to your upper half.
Dressing stylishly doesn’t need to be expensive. Buy several pieces of clothing that can be mixed and matched, and a few key pieces of jewelry that you love. Throw in some bags and shoes that you can wear with any of your outfits. Some glasses and hats and you are good to go.
Over forty never looked so good.
Claire is the creative director and blogger for Minkbaby, a site dedicated to taking the eek out of eco-friendly. She also takes a keen interest in fashion, which she studied.
Silver & Grace Approved Books
Looking for some books on feeling good and looking great? The following books have the Silver & Grace Seal of Approval as excellent resources for women. They can be purchased through Amazon.
The MindBody FX Lifestyle: Mastering The Mind-Body Connection For Permanent Weight Loss
The Beauty Blueprint: 8 Steps to Building the Life and Look of Your Dreams
For more Silver & Grace Approved books check out Eliza’s Recommendations.
Embracing the fun, sexy, intelligent and real you
I know from personal experience that as our body changes during perimenopause and menopause we also embark on a fascinating spiritual journey. A journey that can at times be confusing as we struggle to cope with our changing body. A journey that can benefit greatly from a guiding hand. Let’s walk this journey together to the destination of an even better fun, sexy, intelligent and real you. To learn more about my intuitive mentoring options check out Eliza’s Mentoring or contact me using this convenient form.
Hi Claire & Eliza.
I prefer to pick and choose and try different colours and styles; to take my time. I can’t stand over-zealous salespeople who are almost panting to make a sale and the loud boom boom music that some of these stores play… loudly. (Ok, did I just sound old?) I prefer the simple look; nice fitting jeans, low-heeled sandals, a feminine top with a low, scooped neckline (my modest little lovable boobs are still worth showing off). I don’t think they have to be biggies to flaunt them.
My biggest challenge when shopping for clothes…? Radically unstable hormones mixed with in-your-face salespeople. Argh!
I’ve also noticed that my colours have changed. Pastels used to be my thing, but I’m moving towards more vibrant reds, oranges and blues.
.-= Davina´s last blog ..Sleeping with the Muse =-.
@Davina – ‘little lovable boobs’ <– that's great! I love my little boobs too, and yes, I too show them off. As Claire said, if you've got it, flaunt it. And 'got it' does not have to mean large. I take my daughter shopping with me. She keeps the salespeople at bay as she whips around hauling clothes off the rack. All I have to do is stay in the change room. I have also switched to vibrant colours. They seem to go better with my skin tone now. As per both my daughters: "Jewel tones, Mummers. Jewel tones."
Hi, Eliza; Thank you, Claire, so nice to meet you; Hi, Davina.
Shopping. Ugh. Jeans. I wish wish wish I could wear them but they’re so darned uncomfortable; my waist/hips/thighs configuration just isn’t what anyone else’s is, apparently, because to get the hips to fit, my waist swims while my thighs feel like sausages stuck in their casings. Arrgh! The dilemma is what to wear as a suitable replacement? Haven’t found the answer to that one, yet. But the worst—the absolute worst—in the shopping arena is bras and swimsuits. I swear….if we could just do away with both…!
As for dressing after 40, I say forget anyone else’s rules and go with what you feel comfortable in. All your advice is wonderful, Claire, and I’ve learned some good tips, answers to a couple dilemmas (and discovered, too, that I was doing one thing right!), but overall I’d say if you want to wear mini-skirts and tank tops and feathered scarves and bobbly earrings and coveralls with frilly t’s, and short shorts with baggy sweatshirts and whatever else floats your boat… Do it and do it proudly. Show your mood, show your youthful energy, show your flair for the dramatic, show all your personalities. By the time we hit 40, we’ve acquired a few.
They’re all part of us and they’re all welcome. If anyone looks askance, well, then they’re simply getting an education on how to be true to themselves.
I’ve been holing up, working hard, and it’s SO wonderful to see you guys, again!
PS: About that little point Davina made… When will bra-makers fine-tune things for those of us who are a little lopsided in how we fill out the two cups, hm?
Oh, yeah… (sorry) Erect posture and a modicum of exercise go a long way to how we carry our clothes. I’ve a set of 3lb weights by my bathroom sink and do a 1-minute round of waving them around in the air each morning. A week of that, and my underarm flab started firming right up. Now I’m not lamenting the way I carry off sleeveless tops, anymore. Just sayin’.
.-= Julie´s last blog ..The Only Thing That Matters =-.
Great post! I sometimes have trouble finding clothes. It is easier in bigger cities than small towns. Small town stores make clothes for butt-crack showing youths or dowdy old ladies with very little in between.
The thing that bugs me most about clothes shopping IS VERY LOUD OBNOXIOUS MUSIC and young sales staff with no customer service skills.
.-= Canadian Army Wife´s last blog ..Army Wife Utility Belt =-.
@Julie – Julie!!!! YAY!
Do not even get me started on shopping for a bra. I have narrowed it down to one style and brand. It’s called the Classic Cut, but I call it the Old Lady Bra, because there isn’t a spot of lace to be found. Same with bathing suits. I go to the same store and buy the exact same cut. I swear bras are all designed by men.
@Canadian Army Wife – is there some marketing research that proves techno music increases sales? It just makes me want to run screaming from the store. Maybe it’s proven to increase impulse shopping. Grab an item, then get the heck of out Dodge!
I just get so frustrated shopping. And lately I get rude comments, because the Adrenal Burnout has made my waist so flabby with all the weigh gain in that area – it was always so flat …pride goeth before a fall?
Jeans are very hard…last year I tried on over 100 pairs during the year …I just am proportionally so weird. I did find a company locally that makes yoga pants for women who have had Ovarian Cancer radical surgery so I can go unembarrassed to those classes each week.
At 60, I still do not want to look like my mother….I look all over the Internet, but often fall back on men’s sweat pants (too low rise over the bum) and a fat lady T shirt and then a fleece vest in the nicest colors I can find in the men’s department.
This week I bought 2 pair of elastic waist polyester pants – it’s true/ I am highly embarrassed….I had nothing to wear for a graduation ceremony at college and a lovely boat trip. I am afraid I will need suspenders for the front of the pants – I still have no feeling in my abs to know when the pants are falling down. Mostly I look so bad these days, other than my walking ( in the too short T shirts – yikes) I rarely go any where. The chanting group is used to me.
Now that I have written this I feel like crying.
.-= Patricia´s last blog ..A New Thank You =-.
@Patricia – I have heard similar complaints that it is difficult for larger women in particular to get attractive well fitting clothes. However, I am going to offer up a suggestion from the style gurus at What Not to Wear, and something that never occurred to me. Buy well made clothes that fit you in most areas and have them tailored to customize them for your body shape. Given we are all different size, shapes and consistencies, but clothes are standardized for some ‘ideal’ body shape, I think this is a brilliant suggestion. I now get all my blazers tailored because the sleeves are always too long. But how about buying pants that are a bit too big then having them tailored to fit you perfectly?
I do the tailoring with work clothing…jeans are very expensive….I wish PJ bottom pants were back in vogue!
Thank you for sharing that good idea
.-= Patricia´s last blog ..A New Thank You =-.
It takes some effort to find them, but there are nice looking, fashionable clothes available for women of any age…check out my suggestions! Nancy
Nancy – I took a trip over to your site and bookmarked it. I always take my daughter shopping with me, because she has a fantastic sense of style. However, I can now show her how knowledgeable I am by checking out your suggestions before we head off to the mall
I am glad you like my outfits! Like Eliza, I think it’s important NOT to pay attention to “rules” about what to wear over 40. No matter what your shape, if you look hard enough, you CAN find fashionable clothes that look appropriate. It’s a matter of weeding out what doesn’t work for you.
Hello everyone! I just stumbled upon this post and here’s my experience: I too get driven crazy by the pounding music in some stores. But the worst are the young salesgirls that don’t know not to ask you 300 times if you’re “doing okay”! I solved this problem at a shop I’ve started to frequent. During a slow day when I was nearly the only shopper, instead of blowing the kids off I struck up a conversation, complimented their cute outfits, introduced myself and told them “Don’t mind me! It takes me an hour of browsing to make choices.” Then we were on friendly ground and they left me alone while I carried items around and mixed and matched. They were very helpful though, and also more inclined to tell me of any problems shoppers have experienced with a particular garment. So if you frequent the store, take the time to get acquainted, it pays off!
Lynne – great advice. Kindness goes a really long well. My daughter works in retail, and when she was on the floor she had to deal with a lot of really nasty customers. She would love it when a customer helped her help them, but being clear on what they wanted even if that was to leave them alone to browse and putter.