Book give-away: How to Save Your Own Life
Another book give-away contest! This time it is Michael Gates Gill’s How to Save Your Own Life. Check out my book review if you haven’t already read it. I know you will want a copy for your very own.
TLC Book Tours has once again arranged to have a copy mailed directly to you from the publishers. Here’s what you need to do to win a copy of How to Save Your Own Life:
1. Using the Silver & Grace contact form send me an email
2. In the subject line write How to Save Your Own Life Give-away
3. Submit email by March 7, 2010, midnight, Eastern Standard Time
After the contest close, I will number the submissions in order of receipt and pick a winner using a random number generator.
I will notify the winner by return email and ask for an address to mail the book to.
Then TLC Book Tours will have the book sent to you.
Easy-peasy!
Have fun and good luck.
Don’t miss out!
To make sure you don’t miss out on future Give-Aways, subscribe to Silver & Grace by RSS or Email
Graceful Women: Why I went gray; or, conversations with Ed
The top post at Silver & Grace, based on search hits, is Gray hair can be beautiful and sexy. Here I briefly touch on my own decision to go gray, and display a photo of myself in all my gray haired glory.
It’s a hot topic, this going gray business. Hot enough for Anne Kreamer to write an entire book on it, which I reviewed and then gave away in a contest.
Andrea Squires was the lucky winner of the contest, and receipt of the book coincided with her own going gray transition. I asked Andrea to tell her going gray journey, and what she shared was incredible story of self acceptance.
Here is Andrea’s story:
I decided to let my hair go gray for the same reason I had changed my hair color a million times: I was bored.
Or so I thought.
As I went through the tedious and sometimes disturbing process of letting my reddish-brown hair turn to pepper-and-salt, it turned out that my reasons went deeper. I had many pillow conversations about it with Ed, often at 3:00 am.
Ed always lets me know his opinions. A head-butt means “more scratching, now” and a gentle bite means “shut up, I’m trying to sleep.” Ed is 19, old for a cat, and did not get this far by letting the Meaning of Life interrupt his sleep.
In the end, letting my hair go gray is an outward sign of finally accepting me. I’m 49, never married, no children, unless you count Ed (which he does). As a young woman, I fell in love with theatre. I struggled to make a living as a performer. Gradually, I got tired of the road and ramen noodles, and settled to jobs in the computer industry. I stayed in Dilbert-Land for close to a decade, gaining weight and feeling trapped.
Three years ago, something in me woke up. On impulse, I applied for a dream job teaching presentation at a major museum—and got the job! I moved to Virginia, and started performing in a storytelling program.
Through teaching and stories, I discovered my own voice. As children and adults listened to me, I found that I valued myself. There is a strong folk tradition that age is strength, not weakness. From studying the stories of many cultures, I’m learning that age is an honorable, earned state and not a deficit.
Singlehood can be hard, as can the choice not to have children. Over the years, when I felt internal or external pressures to find a mate, I was prey to what I call the magic “If …”
“If I were 30 pounds lighter I would be sexy …”
“If my hair were that color, I could look younger …”
“If I were more disciplined, I could (fill-in-the-blank) …”
Sound familiar? I hated my body, my face, my hair, my personality … you name it, I thought it should change. I lived for a magical time when all the “Ifs” would come true. But that time never comes. It’s a mirage.
So I’m working on losing the “Ifs”—all but one. If I don’t try to appreciate who I am right now, warts and all, I will simply waste more of my precious life.
Ed would be biting my hand about now, so I’ll finish with my favorite moment from going gray. A young hairstylist commented that if I didn’t color my hair I would “look older.” Without really thinking about it, I smiled and said, “That’s OK with me.”
Your turn
Do you have a personal story to share? Silver & Grace is always looking for stories that turn the theory into reality. To submit your story click here.
Is there a topic related to the spiritual or physical aspect of aging gracefully that you would like to see covered? Please send post ideas to Eliza by using the Silver & Grace contact form.
Don’t miss out!
To make sure you don’t miss out on any of the topics and discussions, subscribe by RSS or Email
Embracing life with the Red Hat Society
When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we’ve no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I’m tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick flowers in other people’s gardens
And learn to spit. _excerpt from Warning by Jenny Joseph
Isn’t this a fantastic poem? The freedom to not care what we look like or how we act?
But why wait until we are old? Why not start now?
Just like the ladies in the Red Hat Society.
I was in my early thirties when I first heard of the Red Hat Society. Old women strutting their stuff in flamboyant red hats and purple dresses. Purple! Who wears purple?
My very controlled self was horrified. These women were deliberately drawing attention to themselves! How completely undignified of them.
That was then. But here I am looking at 50, which is NOT old, and my reaction is entirely different.
You go, girls!
It all started innocently enough. Sue Ellen Cooper gave a friend a gift of a red hat and a copy of the Jenny Joseph poem. The friend gave this same gift to another friend. And just like the old shampoo commerical, she gifted two friends, and she gifted two friends, and the Red Hat Society was born.
And there is nothing undignified about these ladies. While they push the boundaries of society’s rules for older women, they certainly aren’t out tearing up the town like a gaggle of brash hussies. They are simply a group of energetic women sharing companionship, support, and laughs.
I think my grandmothers, two women I greatly admired, were closet Red Hatters. Hair coiffed and make up always applied. Keenly interested in their family and the world around them. But very strong women each in their own way. One by making a marriage work through difficulties by firmly laying down the ground rules. Another who taught sexual health to service men in the Second World War, driving herself home in an army jeep from posh events, ball gown hitched up to her thighs.
I still struggle a bit with just being me in public. There’s still that part of me afraid of someone thinking I am acting foolish. However, the times I truly relax, I find myself having a fantastic time. I realize that if someone else is horrified they are simply like that very controlled younger women who was once me.
I repeat
You go, girls!
If you are interested in joining a Red Hat Society chapter, or forming one for your area, please check out the Red Hat Society website.
Then go out and buy yourself a red hat and purple dress. And perhaps even learn to spit.
Your say
- Are you simply you no matter what the situation, or are there times you are concerned about what others may think?
- Do you belong to a ‘community of women’ like a book club or sorority?
Suggested Reading:
Please read the full poem here Warning by Jenny Joseph.
Your turn
Do you have a personal story to share? Silver & Grace is always looking for stories that turn the theory into reality. To submit your story click here.
Is there a topic related to the spiritual or physical aspect of aging gracefully that you would like to see covered? Please send post ideas to Eliza by using the Silver & Grace contact form.
Don’t miss out!
To make sure you don’t miss out on any of the topics and discussions, subscribe by RSS or Email
Book review: The Narcissist – A User’s Guide
Over the course of our lifetime, we all experience toxic relationships. Not just with lovers, but friends, bosses, and co-workers. We struggle painfully when we are in them, and we strive to understand them once we are free of them.
Often, we are able to find a pattern to the type of toxicity. It is at this point, we can work on ourselves, because that’s the only way we break free of destructive cycles.
I had my own pattern to break free of, and when I read Lori Hoeck’s and Betsy Wuebker’s The Narcissist: A User’s Guide, I could finally make sense of it all.
Lori and Betsy allowed me the honour of previewing their eBook, and I provided them with the following testimonial:
I had two narcissists in my life. The first one lasted 16 years, the second one 6 months. Seems I am learning to identify their existence in my life, and impact, faster. But, I sure wish I had the The Narcissist: A User’s Guide during these painful periods.
Recovering from the damage of these relationships was slow, and I thought I had wiped the last trace of their impact on my psyche clean away. But, when I read The Narcissist: A User’s Guide, each word leaped off the page at me and flooded me with relief.
It was like the Roberta Flack lyrics, “strumming my life with his finger,” only Betsy and Lori were strumming my life with their words. They confirmed that everything I experienced was very real. The damage to my psyche was very real. And the length of time it took to recover was very real.
I recommend The Narcissist: A User’s Guide to anyone who suspects they are dealing with a narcissist. You will learn, like me, that you are not crazy. And with this knowledge, you will gain the strength to untangle yourself from the Narcissist trap.
However, I have to be honest. This was my second testimonial. The carefully thought out one. But I want to share my initial testimoninal with you, because it’s a much better indication of the impact The Narcissist had on me.
Two words and two words only:
Holy Shit!!!
And that was just the Word document version.
Then they sent me the final product, designed by Deb Dorchak of Sirius Graphix. My reaction to this?
Holy Shit!!!
The Narcissist: A User’s Guide is a work of art by the authors and the designer. Clearly this is combined effort of a team who truly believe in the book’s message.
This is not a guide for hunting down the Great Evil Narcissist. Narcissim is a personalty trait, not a human abheration. I know the narcissists I was associated with struggle with their place in life each and every day of their lives.
No, this is a guide that helps you recognize the narcissistic traits that you are attracted to. That’s right, attracted to. Because we invite them into our lives for a reason. And until we figure out what that is, we cannot ask them to leave. Nor can we make sure we never open the relationship door to other narcissists.
If you are unhappy in any of your relationships, please read The Narcissist. It just might help you break free of your unhealthy patterns and set you off down a path of happiness and freedom.
You can learn more information here and here or jump right to the download page.
Suggested reading:
Betsy Wuebker can be found at Passing Thru. Lori Hoeck can be round at Think Like a Black Belt.
Both Betsy and Lori are also Silver & Grace Graceful Women contributers:
Your turn
Do you have a personal story to share? Silver & Grace is always looking for stories that turn the theory into reality. To submit your story click here.
Is there a topic related to the spiritual or physical aspect of aging gracefully that you would like to see covered? Please send post ideas to Eliza by using the Silver & Grace contact form.
Don’t miss out!
To make sure you don’t miss out on any of the topics and discussions, subscribe to Silver & Grace by RSS or Email
Book Review: How to Save Your Own Life
I have two criteria for rating Self Help books:
- How many quotes did I make note of to ponder further?
- Did it make me cry?
How to Save Your Own Life: 15 Lessons on Finding Hope in Unexpected Places, by Michael Gates Gill, scored high on both criteria.
I have fifteen quote markers. And I cried not once, but three or four times. Granted, I am perimenopausal and I cry during commercials, but four times for a 175 page book is saying something.
Michael Gates Gill is the author of the bestseller How Starbucks Saved My Life, in which he chronicles his riches to rags story. After losing his six-digit figure salary, his marriage, and his health, he found happiness where he least expected to, as an employee at Starbucks.
In How to Save Your Own Life, Michael Gill distils the lessons he learned into an inspirational book. And what I found very refreshing about this particular self-help guide is Mr. Gill’s honesty and frankness. Bottom line, he was a pretty conceited fellow, born into a privileged life, with an Ivy League education and a high powered corporate career handed to him on the proverbial silver platter.
He makes no bones about this. As a matter of fact, the comparison of his life then to his life now form the basis of his lessons. Long hours and high pay versus part time job and low pay. Never seeing his adult children grow up versus spending the early hours of each morning one on one with a son conceived very late in life. Taking his health for granted versus living with a brain tumour. Large mansion and a family Summer residence to a tiny, sparsely furnished apartment.
Each comparison is discussed with thoughtful candour.
No earth shattering revelations, just basic truths, which is why I spent so much time crying. Simple words of wisdom that really hit home and inspired me.
A good number of the lessons in the book, I had already learned myself and implemented. For example, money and career are not the be all and end all. I requested a demotion at work, and I am much happier for that decision. But, although I might have already made similar mindset and lifestyle changes as described in How to Save Your Own Life, I still found aspects of my life that can be improved upon.
How to Save Your Own Life is an extremely enjoyable and inspirational read. It’s a reminder that we need to slow down and really think about what is truly important to us.
Suggested reading:
How Starbucks Saved My Life and How to Save Your Own life are available for purchase through Amazon by clicking the Silver & Grace book recommendations.
To find out what other people are saying about this book, check out the following TLC Book Tour reviews:
January 4: MidLifeBloggers
January 5: Life and Times of a “New” New Yorker
January 7: The Written World
January 12: TexasRed Books
January 13: It’s All A Matter of Perspective
January 14: A Novel Menagarie
January 15: Nanny Goats in Panties
January 19: Stephanie’s Confessions of a Book-A-Holic
January 20: Thoughts of an Evil Overlord
January 26: Inventing My Life
Developing intuition takes conscious effort
In my interview with Akemi Gaines, an Akashic Record reader, the following statement leaped out at me:
[Women]are more open to the spiritual world and have less resistance in receiving intuition. However, not many women are serious about their spiritual development. They are content with their natural intuition and not very interested in actively developing it further to a higher level of integration.
What does Akemi mean women don’t actively develop their intuition? That can’t be right!
Akemi then went on to add
Men are less likely to come to my service, but once they do, they commit to their spiritual development and take the 6 week coaching program, while many women just take the reading and be done with it.
This made me stop and think about women I know of who claim to be working on developing their intuition. They go to psychic after psychic after psychic.
As a matter of fact, there is now a phenomenon called psychic addiction. I kid you not. Some women end up spending hundreds if not thousands of dollars in psychic readings. To the point of putting themselves in financial dire straights.
I think this boils down to the age old behaviour of asking a question repeatedly until you get the answer you want. In other words, rather than doing the internal work needed to make very real changes, women go to psychics hoping they will be told that they will find love, get a good job, end up with a lot of money …whatever they think will make them happier.
The fact of the matter is, developing your intuition and making real changes in your life is darn hard work. Psychics and divination techniques are simply tools, not the solution. And using those tools properly is also darn hard work.
I work with tarot cards, but I didn’t just pick up a deck and decide I could read them. I took courses; Beginner Tarot, Intermediate Tarot, Advanced Tarot and specialized workshops. I also took formal courses in Druidry.
I have since moved from the traditional Rider-Waite cards to Brian Froud’s oracle deck because it works best for me. But, I have carried over my understanding of the tarot system. As well, I found Druidry too dry for my personality and moved to a similar belief system that is earthier. But, I still use all the techniques I learned in my Druidry courses.
When life gets busy, I drift away from my intuitive self. I let that ‘muscle’ get weak, and I have to consciously exercise it to get back in shape. But it’s worth it, because the stronger that intuition is the happier I am.
There are no external answers to our problems, and nothing is ever changed without putting in the work.
I would like to think that the women Akemi is referring to use her reading as a tool, and don’t show up again because they are doing very hard work in other ways to enhance their intuition and improve their happiness.
If they are simply moving on to the next spiritual advisor in hopes of finding that magic elixir, they are doing themselves and those advisers a huge disservice.
Your turn:
- Do you study and practice formal techniques to enhance your intuition?
- Do you believe that psychics provide answers, or guide you to find your own answers?
Suggested Reading:
Can we become addicted to psychics?
10 Ways to Increase Your Intuition
Develop your intuition and increase your pychic abilities
Graceful Women: The social impact of body size
Nobody can question the unrealistic and unhealthy emphasis our society puts on body size. I think a jean size of zero is quite metaphoric. The health and welfare of the person inside those jeans means nothing, notta, zip.
I am as guilty as the next person. I struggle with body image. I am trim and athletic, but I constantly fight a fear of not being that one day. My size is part of my self-image. Despite the fact that rationally I know this is a ridiculous thought process. My spiritual and physical health are part of my image, not my size.
However, it never occurs to me to question another person’s size and weight. It’s a non-issue to me, so I was shocked when a reader left a comment on my post Surviving all the holiday food choices that her weight makes other people uncomfortable.
I want to thank Patrica, of Patricia’s Wisdom, for agreeing to share this very personal account of how she is treated by other people for being a larger woman. Here is her story:
One of the hardest things about being FAT or overweight is how uncomfortable one makes the people around them feel.
I wish I were not so heavy and I work very hard on my health and in working towards achieving a more “normal” or acceptable body size. My goal is to be the healthiest, whole person I can be.
I learned early on how physical appearance can make folks feel uncomfortable. Having had several rounds of cancer in my youth, I was witness to other folks concerned that they might “catch” it from me, and at that time most of the people who had cancer were dying or dead. It was a matter of no knowledge or inadequate information. Other children did not wish to stand next to me in choir for fear they would inhale this unknown- children often tell it like it is. All the scars made the locker room a nightmare experience in my self-conscious teens.
In 1994 after ovarian cancer surgery my body started protecting its self by putting on weight. I carry around about 95 extra pounds. I walk 5 miles daily, I have worked with dieticians and I stretch and lift weights. My thighs and upper arms are 3 clothing sizes bigger than my torso.
I am not funny or even jolly. I do not tell jokes all the time to keep folks from noticing my weight.
At public gatherings, people watch what I eat. I have found that unless I want to acknowledge some special dish or something the chef has prepared with individual care, I do not eat and I fill my glass with water.
People are afraid they will look like me. I feel their pain. I have had people come up to me after a dinner and say, “I did not know what to do, I saw you just put your folk on your plate and did not eat anything!” “Were you drinking straight vodka?”, one guest asked me at a party. One cannot miss that people are watching.
Men are often very overt in their feelings; one said to me, “Why did you let yourself go? You used to be so intelligent and pretty?” At the theatre one said, “you could move faster if you got that blubber off your butt.”
My presence makes people feel afraid that they will get large and out of control; that they will have to wear unfashionable clothing and learn standup comedy.
I usually get diet tips and exercise advice and information about the tricks that movie stars use. I even get referrals to plastic surgeons and spas that “really” work.
Being this size makes people afraid. They might become just like me. They would no longer be appealing. Everyone would know they are lazy.
I know I have lost job opportunities because of my appearance. I have very few clothes because I would rather look good and meet someone else’s standards in public than look sloppy and make them feel afraid.
The worst is the moment that the other decides that you are lying – making up and defending your lack of control and ugliness. This is also the moment, when I know yet another doctor has no answer and rather than fail – they are going to give up on me very soon.
Getting defensive just makes the stress hormones send the message to add more weight.
Only a few want to be seen with the “B List”.
What hurts the most still is that so many think the heavier you are the less intelligence one has.
A post script by Eliza: I normally post a photo of my Graceful Women. Patricia asked that I post a lady bug as it is her symbol of a woman recreating herself. I was very happy to do so.
Interview: Akemi Gaines and Akashic Record Reading
I am a strong believer in intution. It is a very powerful tool that we often ignore in our over busy lives. I also believe in the existence of energies. Not the hocus pocus airy fairy television series kind, but real energies backed up with scientific evidence. Energies that can be purged or used, depending on whether they are beneficial to us or not.
I was, therefore, very intrigued when Akemi Gaines contacted me about her Akashic Record Readings, and I asked her some questions. I am pleased to share her responses with you.
I am a strong believer in the three stages of womanhood: maid, mother, crone. Silver & Grace is mainly about the crone stage – the stage of wisdom. To me, this is the stage where you start to make sense of everything. How does the Akashic Record Reading help ‘make sense of everything’ and contribute to our wisdom?
Hello Eliza and Silver & Grace readers! So honored to be here.
Many of my clients are women around the age of 35 to 55. It’s a good time to reflect on the course of life they have journeyed. And with life expectancy getting longer and longer, we need to be serious how we can live a happy and healthy life long after this stage.
Akashic Record Reading helps recognize the self-sabotaging patterns, make sense of the challenges in life, and helps create happier, more fulfilling life. Many people have energetic programs that repeat in their mind, causing them to act in a way they know won’t serve them well. The problem is that just noticing this self-sabotaging program doesn’t change the behavior pattern. They often try to counter act on it, but that is not the same with clearing the negative program.
Another example of how Akashic Record Reading can help is by helping people realize the true meaning of their life challenges. We often choose our own challenges on the soul level as a way to learn life lessons. Realizing the lesson helps to see the difficulties not in the regular negative way but in a more meaningful way, as growth opportunities. We can then turn it around with the awareness that we can learn the lesson through positive reaffirming way, too.
I encourage people to use the wisdom of the Akashic Records as a way to improve their lives. Don’t just treasure the wisdom, use it! We don’t need to retreat from life just because we are of certain age. And interestingly, some of my clients report they look and act younger after the reading and clearing.
I loved the following from your website: “Very often, I find people work so hard on the superficial symptoms of the issue while not realizing the root cause of the issue.” This is very true statement. Akashic Record Readings are based on energies carried forward through lifetimes. How do these energies impact our lives in the here and now?
There are many kinds of energetic issues. Souls carry over unresolved issues beyond one lifetime, in the hope it finds healing in the next lifetime.
For instance, I had a client who was a monk in one of her past lives. Souls incarnate in various genders and situations to experience this world in different ways. Anyhow, as a monk, she happened to find something she wasn’t supposed to know, and was severely punished. This registers as a curse, and her soul took it because of her sense of guilt. The curse is, “Ignorance is bliss.” So even to this day, she gets scared to get to know something important.
I guess she worked hard to overcome this program. She forced herself to study hard even though she felt strong resistance every time she took a new class or seminar. She has been doing fine in her career. But when her husband got sick and the medical bills started to pile up, she was petrified to check them and the bank statements, leading to catastrophic situation that she knows she could better handle if only she was more comfortable to check them earlier.
Did it help her if she read books on personal finance? Or repeated the affirmation that she can handle it? Or if she forced herself to check the finance? The last one may have prevented this crisis, but her fear remains. Clearing the curse, the root cause, takes care of all the subsequent symptoms that show up as problems.
Is identifying energies enough, or do we then have ‘homework’ in order to move forward unblocked and revitalized?
It depends on the energetic issue. I often assign a clearing homework to my clients while I do my part of the clearing. Their awareness and willingness to clear the energetic issues (such as the aforementioned curse) is essential, and the ritual of the clearing work helps the subconscious to release them.
And this one isn’t about the readings per se. In your opinion, are there energies and life decisions unique to women that keep us from truly integrating our minds, body and spirit?
I think women have easier time to connect body, mind, and spirit than men. We are more open to the spiritual world and have less resistance in receiving intuition. However, not many women are serious about their spiritual development. They are content with their natural intuition and not very interested in actively developing it further to a higher level of integration.
While 80% of my Akashic Record Reading clients are women, women account only 50% in my Spirit Guides Coaching. Men are less likely to come to my service, but once they do, they commit to their spiritual development and take the 6 week coaching program, while many women just take the reading and be done with it.
It’s really the issue of each individual’s choice, but I do see a tendency among women to be reserved and uncommitted to their own inner growth. Considering how easy it can be for women to integrate body, mind and spirit, this is a regrettable tendency.
Akemi Gaines reads people’s soul records, called the Akashic Records, and clears the energetic issues that affect us mentally, emotionally, and even physically. She resides in Oregon, USA, but takes clients worldwide. You can find more about her service at
She also blogs at Yes to Me, sharing tips to create more love and abundance.
It takes more than a New Year’s resolution
A New Year’s resolution is a commitment that an individual makes to a project or the reforming of a habit, often a lifestyle change that is generally interpreted as advantageous. The name comes from the fact that these commitments normally go into effect on New Year’s Day. _ wikipedia
I don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions. They are static. One-offs.
“This year I will lose 10 pounds.”
“This year I will quit smoking.”
“This year I will be nicer to the annoying neighbour next door.”
Done. Stated. Good to go for another year.
Chances are we sat down with a pen and paper and jotted down some things we know we should do. But how much time, thought and effort did we put into those resolutions?
How are you going to lose 10 pounds?
Why is it important to quit smoking?
Why does the neighbour trigger you? And is she really worth the effort?
One day isn’t enough time to contemplate changes I am going to make and commit to for the remaining 364 days of the year. Instead, I prefer to take the entire winter to figure it out.
That’s right. The entire 3 months of Winter, starting at the Winter Solstice.
When we lived in a true agrarian society, Winter was a time to store harvested grain and slaughtered livestock. A time to hunker down, build fires, and wait out the long, cold darkness.
But we also trusted that warmth would return in Spring, seeds would germinate and new livestock would be born.
In our industrial society, we are removed from the natural cycles of the seasons. Electricity keeps our houses well lit. Furnaces keep our houses warm and cozy. Grocery stores provide any food item we like.
But this also means, we have moved away from the spiritual connection to the seasons.
Spring, Summer, Winter, Autumn, our thoughts and behaviours don’t need to change to accomodate the ebb and flow of nature. One day is very much like the rest.
Writing down some resolutions on New Year’s isn’t enough. We need to take time to really figure out what we no longer need in our lives and can kill off, and what we need to keep for growth in the Spring.
I have some ideas for changes muddling around in my head, but it’s too early to share them.
I still have 2 1/2 months to go before I plant the seeds of my ideas.
Your turn:
- Is one day very much like the next for you, or do your behaviours more closely follow the changing of the seasons?
- How do you make lasting changes in your life?
Suggested Reading:
The Winter Solstice
Psyche and the Winter Solstice
The Wheel of the Year
Creating an enjoyable holiday season
I have to admit I dreaded Christmas. Wanting to ensure my three small children experienced nothing but Christmas magic. Financial overload of gifts for children, parents, siblings, nieces, nephews. Going all out with baking, and decorating, and being the perfect hostess.
There had to be a better way!
And a couple of years ago, I figured it all out, and I have had the BEST Christmases ever since.
Do you really need to buy a gift for everyone?
My brothers and I decided that we would only buy each other gifts if something jumped out that said ‘you have to get this for your sibling’. This means we can go several years without buying a gift for a sibling. And we are totally cool with this.
We also decided that we will take care of our own children, so we do not buy gifts for our nieces and nephew.
I do not buy for friends or co-workers. As a team leader, I give all my team members home baked goodies. And friends who drop by, or we visit, also get a small tray of goodies.
Does the credit card need to melt?
I set a strict budget. And I tell my kids what that budget is. They have $x for their birthday and $x for Christmas. They can combine the two budgets together if they want something major. If they can’t think of a gift adding up to the total, they get the balance in cash.
One year, my son really wanted a drum set. That cost him two years worth of birthdays and Christmases, which meant he went through 18 months with no presents to unwrap. But it was his choice and he was thrilled to get the drum set.
As for my parents, my brothers and I often pool our resources. Or I’ll get a gift for one parent and a brother will get a gift for the other parent.
Do you really want to fight the crowds?
I hate shopping. For anything! So, I get in and get out early. You will not find me in the stores after the first week of December.
And if I can buy online, total bonus! There is no better way to shop that curled up in my jammies in front of the fire with a nice cuppa tea.
Does every square inch of the home need to be covered in decorations?
We aren’t getting a tree this year.
Oh, the horror, I know!
But we aren’t even going to be home to enjoy it, so Mr Very Right and I deemed it a heck of a lot of work for very little enjoyment.
I’m just going to place some thoughtfully selected seasonal decorations about the house which will remain there until I start to feel Springy.
Is it really all about the gift giving?
This year, it worked out that all three of my children got their gifts before the calendar page even turned into December. One daughter wanted a Wii and WiiFit to start off a new fitness program in the Fall. So, I bought her the Wii and she bought the fitness board.
My son wanted a PS3 for his birthday in November. This required his Christmas budget too, so he’s all done.
And while we were in the store getting his PS3, I told my daughter and son-in-law to pick out a netbook. Merry Christmas!
What will Christmas really be about?
All of these strategies means, come Christmas Day it will mainly be about games, and tobogganing, food, and the comfort of Christmas traditions. And I will have the energy to enjoy every moment of it.
Your turn:
- What steps have you taken to simplify the holiday season?
- Do you buy meaningful gifts for a select few, or ‘obligation gifts’ for the masses?
Suggested Reading:
HEALTHY LIVING: Taking the stress out of Christmas
Take the Stress out of Christmas shopping
Planning Ahead for Christmas
