I had not even closed the covers on Amy Boesky’s What We Have, when I had my word …

BEAUTIFUL

If this was movie, I would say ‘the cinematography is beautiful’. You know when you watch a movie and the filming is so stunning it just washes over you? Like Out of Africa. But, this is a book, so the closest I can come to this is ‘the voice is beautiful’.

What if you lived your entire life knowing that your body is a ticking time bomb? What if you knew that females in your family died of cancer at a relatively young age? Your grandmother. Your aunts. That your mother, you, and your sisters are all at high risk.

This is the knowledge that Amy grew up with, and What We Have talks about the impact this has on how she views and reacts to the world.

But this is not what makes the book beautiful. What makes it beautiful is the stunningly honest and poignant telling of the relationship between a mother and her daughters, between daughters and their mother, and between sisters.

I do have to give my tissue warning on this book. I did cry. More than once as a matter of fact. But, I was never left feeling drained in any way. I just wanted to keep on reading.

I am always impressed when an author can reach into the dusty corners of their existence and shine a light on the cobwebs without coming across as bitter or dramatic.

Then add incredible grace to that, and you get …

BEAUTIFUL

More information!

Make sure you come back on September 8, 2010, to win a copy of What We Have.

Amy Boesky can be found at http://amyboesky.com/

This book review was sponsored by TLC Book Tours. For more reviews of What We Have visit tlcbooktours.com

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Case in point, this past week was filled with negative energy moments for me:

1. a meeting at work where someone’s frustrations overflowed into outburst of anger
2. a run in with an arrogant client
3. clicking on a video that used graphic shocking violence to ram home a point
4. reading an article which was nauseating in its attitudes towards men

By Sunday morning, even the weather appeared negative as thunder rolled menacingly around the house.

The impact on me was physical and emotional:

• I vividly dreamed that Mr Very Right broke up with me
• I was constantly on the verge of tears
• My head was experiencing brain fog

So, what is a person to do?

I made a vow to myself when I left a long term very negative relationship that I would surround myself with positive people and experiences. For the most part this works. But, short of never leaving the house, and never interacting with other human beings, some negative experiences are unavoidable.

A big key is recognizing that the negative energy is not coming from inside me, rather it is attaching itself to me. This is wonderful news, because it means I can detach it from me by

• meditating to cleanse my mind of negative thoughts
• grounding myself by ‘pushing’ the negative energy back out into earth
• imaging my body being filled with positive energy
• holding or wearing an object with symbolic healing properties

I did all of these detachment and healing techniques on Sunday, and I was right as rain again. In this case, the object I used was my crystal. Crystal is believed to cause positive changes in both the mind and body, and it certainly did the trick for me.

Then I sat down and designed this week’s feature jewelry piece. This necklace has an amazonite pendant.

Amazonite has the following properties:

• calms the brain and nervous system
• balances male and female energies
• alleviates worry and fear
• dispels negative energy and aggravation

To purchase this necklace and help dispel negative energies that may attempt to attach themselves to you, head over to the Silver & Grace store by clicking here. Make sure you enter discount code E3903 to get 10% off this necklace. This code is good only until August 26.

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You see, Healing with Words is all about Diana’s journey through breast cancer, followed up with a diagnosis of multiple myeloma. I couldn’t put the book down, because I needed to know how on earth she got through this and came out strong enough to share her journey with all of us!

Diana got through it one day at a time.

But this book is not so easily written off with that over used cliché. Many of Diana’s days were filled with grief, fear, depression, and an ocean of tears. In other words, Diana tells it like it is.

A large part of Diana’s healing came from writing poetry and chronicling her emotions in her journal. Healing with Words is actually a workbook intended for women diagnosed with cancer. By adding questions and space to write at the end of each chapter, Diana created a tool for women with cancer to journal their own experiences and emotions.

While careful to state that medical choices documented in the book are uniquely her own, Diana provides advice on cutting through the information overload to be found on cancer and treatments. As well, she provides guidance on the questions to ask and whom best to ask them of.

We are also treated to Diana’s beautiful, yet intense, poetry. Again, there are no holds barred, such as this short but to the point poem entitled Bifurcation:

Having a breast sliced off
leaves a woman with two lives –
the one before the lost
and the one after.

There is a time for platitudes, but there is also a time for “hey, this is the reality of what it is like”. Healing with Words is that reality. But, it is also validation that the roller coaster of emotions is normal, and they need to be experienced in order to heal emotionally and physically.

I would love to hear your thoughts!

Do you write to help heal? What other methods do you use to work through pain, be it physical or emotional?

More information!

Make sure you return on August 3, 2010, to win a copy of Healing with Words.

Diana can be found at Diana M. Raab

This book review was sponsored by WOW! Women on Writing

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There’s no need to fall victim to all of the marketing involved in fitness routines these days. After all, there were numerous healthy and trim people before the days of the local gym, so don’t feel the need to spend a large deal of money on equipment and memberships. In fact, these kinds of big leaps sometimes end up acting more as roadblocks, inflating expectations and causing less motivation when one’s body doesn’t look just like the television advertisement might have claimed.

Staying fit as a woman is sometimes an entirely different experience altogether. In fact, there are definitely no two ways about it: in today’s world, it is still easier for a man to be considered ‘mature’, whereas a woman is often just referred to as ‘old’. But a number of powerful, confident, and beautiful women who don’t happen to be in their twenties are re-writing the book on what it means to look fit and be attractive. Susan Sarandon has never looked more beautiful, and Helen Mirren certainly feels confident in her good looks, or else she wouldn’t be posing topless in a bathtub.

While some of women might take their inspiration from the more surgically inclined, self-proclaimed ‘cougar’ set, the fact is that getting into shape is a much better way to maintain one’s looks, regardless of age. Even adding an extra hour of activity to your daily schedule can make a difference in a surprisingly short amount of time.

While celebrities might have personal trainers while at home, those who are on the road most of the time often end up making do with the sort of activities that are easy to accomplish in the confined space of a hotel room. This is one of the reasons that yoga has become so popular with those who are constantly on the go: the only necessary equipment is one’s own body and a level surface for sitting down.

Of course, getting in shape is about more than just taking on yoga. It’s also about learning moderation in all things. There’s no need to forgo a slice of Brie and glass of Merlot altogether, but after a nice afternoon yoga session, a delicious fresh fruit salad or sushi might be a much better bet than a heavy hamburger.

Changing your fitness choices is a simple way to get your body ready to change its eating habits without even considering a diet. If you’re spending more time walking and keeping your heart rate up, after all, you’re going to find yourself attracted to food choices that give the same feeling of refreshment and pep.

So, instead of setting unrealistic expectations for a new fitness routine and what it can accomplish, consider focusing more on the ways that investing some time in yourself will improve the way that you feel. After all, in a world that’s changing the way that it looks at women over 40, it’s never been a better time to start a fitness regime that has you feeling confident enough to flaunt your hard work beachside in no time at all.

More information!

About the Author: Victoria Crowdell works for SportsEquip.co.uk, leading suppliers of ‘capital’ sports equipment and wet pour safety surfaces.

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I am happy to report that not only did I cross the half-marathon finish line, but I beat my target time. I was allowing myself 3 hours and 15 minutes. I completed the 13 miles/21 kilometers in 3 hours 9 minutes and 13 seconds. But, most importantly, I felt fantastic throughout the entire race. I even had enough energy to run in the second half.

Now I am totally hooked on walking for exercise. I am a walking fiend. No special equipment required. Just a good pair of shoes and off I go. Best of all, I can easily incorporate walking into ‘getting somewhere’. I have walked home from work (2.5 hours), met my daughter at the mall (1.25 hours), and toured Montreal (9 hours).

Okay, admittedly 9 hours is a bit extreme, but we did break it by stopping for food and drink.

According to a survey by the Canadian Fitness and Lifestyle Research Institute, 64% of all Canadians live within a 30 minute walk of a routine destination. Doesn’t mean they walk it!

Mr Very Right and I are just as guilty. Our grocery store is three blocks away, but we drive, even for just one bag of groceries. We talk about how silly that is, but we still drive. My stepson lives six blocks away, but we drive to pick him up and drop him off. Ridiculous!

I think it’s a mindset of being too busy to walk. Why spend thirty minutes walking, when we can spend five minutes in the car?

Because it is way better for our health!

Walking reduces the following:

• risk of coronary heart disease
• high cholesterol
• body fat
• risk of colon cancer
• effects of osteoarthritis
• blood pressure

Walking increases:

• flexibility and coordination
• bone density
• general feeling of well being

I’m starting to plan around walking. Dinner at my daughter’s at 5 p.m.? Simply a matter of leaving the house at 4 p.m. Need some more jewelry making supplies? Eat lunch at my desk at work while sorting all those emails, then head out for a brisk walk to the bead store.

Actually, once I realized how much I enjoy walking, I started looking for ways to incorporate walks into my routine.

I am already planning next year’s half-marathon. Between power walking and adding in a few more short runs, my plan is to come in under three hours.

A final note on how good walking makes me feel. About three-quarters of the way through the race, one of the volunteers said to me “Hey! You are still smiling.” I wasn’t even aware of it, but he was absolutely right. I was smiling. Grinning from ear to ear.

Your turn:

Is walking part of your regular fitness routine?
What have you found to be the benefits of walking?

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According to the Silver & Grace body image survey, very few of us are satisfied with our weight. Nor are we least bit happy with our thickening middle. However, as guest post author, Myln, points out, we can lose weight. It just takes a patience and perseverance.

In one of Eliza’s articles, she talked about the main reasons why women gain weight after 40 (understanding weight gain after 40). The hormonal changes are such that make weight gain easy and weight loss more difficult. In this post I will talk more about how to lose weight. There are not many differences in the weight loss process for women below and for women above 40 besides the fact that older women and people in general are more prone to injuries (from exercise) and also that their metabolism becomes slower. This does not mean that you cannot shed those extra pounds; it simply means that you should have more patience and willpower to stick to your goals until the end.

One of the most important parts of weight loss is the foods you eat. As you get older and try to manage your weight there are some foods that you need to make sure that you are eating and there are some foods that you need to make sure that you are not eating.

The items you should avoid are those that contain high grams of fat, sugar, and generally foods that are high in calories as these foods will help you gain weight. In order to follow a healthy diet, you must ensure that you are eating healthy foods that are beneficial for your diet and wellbeing such as yogurt, fruits, vegetables, and lean meats as well as foods that contain complex carbs, such as whole wheat bread and oatmeal.

Along with a good diet you will want to make sure that you are getting the exercise that you need. Exercising is a very important part of not only being able to lose weight but managing your weight properly so that it does not fluctuate. When you get on a good exercise routine you will be able to regulate your body weight, lose a few pounds, and feel better about the way that you look.

The best way to burn those extra pounds is through cardio exercises. Try to find some cardio exercises that you feel comfortable doing and that you can follow for a long time. It’s of no use trying to follow an exercise routine that is hard and efficient but only for a limited amount of time. The key for losing weight with exercise is consistency and frequency.

Exercising regularly (2-3 times per week) for a couple of months will give you results while exercising once every couple of weeks will not. There are a lot of different cardio exercises so there should be no problem with trying to find a few to build your routine. You can choose from things such as swimming, aerobics, jogging, cycling, or other great exercises that will help you to burn calories very quickly and lose weight.

If you are a woman over 40 there is no sense letting the changes that your body is going through dictate the way that you look and feel. You will be able to better manage your body’s appearance and the way that you feel by adopting a proper diet and a good exercise routine. Just because you are getting a little older and going through some changes does not mean that you cannot lose weight and take control over your body. Make sure that you follow these tips and you will have a better looking appearance that you will love before you know it.

More information!

Myln maintains a weight loss blog where she talks about how to lose weight using natural ways and methods.

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Silver & Grace guest author, Susan Long, tells us about one way. It’s all about soya!

Breast Cancer and Heart Attacks – the possible side effects of HRT are frightening and anti-depressant based treatments are not for everyone. So what’s a menopausal girl to do? It’s time to serve up a delicious bowl of phytoestrogens for dinner and say goodbye to menopausal symptoms!

Phytoestrogens are naturally occurring hormones found in plants. There are three major phytoestrogen groups; isoflavones, flavones and coumestans and a diet rich in these has been found to reduce the risk of some cancers, cardiovascular disease, high cholesterol levels, bone density loss and the symptoms of menopause.

Flavones in particular are far weaker but chemically similar to some breast cancer treatments and are believed to join to estrogen receptors, preventing the return of breast cancer and balancing your hormonal levels, which in turn can relieve the symptoms of menopause.

So where do you get them? Soya products are the most convenient and easy to use source of phytoestrogens. Soya milk and tofu are the most readily available soya products, and while they may not be to everyone’s taste, they are cheap and easy to work with.
If you’ve not cooked with tofu before, you should start with “firm” tofu. Tofu acts as a flavor sponge so can be delicious when cooked correctly. Cut your block of tofu into 1/3 of an inch thick “steaks” or bite sized pieces. Marinade these in big flavors like Asian sauces, Moroccan spices or Curry and then simply cook as you would a chicken breast. Marinated soya steaks make amazing, healthy burgers and sandwiches and bite sized pieces are always a nice edition to Asian style soups.

There are two distinct camps when it comes to soya milk. One side describes it as a delicious, low fat, lactose free, nutritious wonder food. The other side describes it as liquid chalk. If you are one of the latter, try using it in protein shakes, milk shakes and smoothies or combined with honey in porridge. Soya milk is said to be an acquired taste and once you acquire it, you never go back to dairy – so give it a try, you might just fall in love.

If soya products aren’t for you, choose cereals that include flax seed (the best known source of phytoestrogens), and incorporate sesame seeds, hummus and garlic in your everyday diet.

There is plenty of research being done (some estimate 4000 papers per year) into phytoestrogens for all manner of health benefits. Unlike some “alternative” medicines, scientists are finding empirical proof that phytoestrogens are a viable alternative to harsher menopausal drugs so you can feel relatively confident that you will notice some improvement – all you need to do is learn to love tofu!

More information!

About the Author: Susan Long works everyday with women to improve their circumstances and lifestyle. See more of Susan’s work at Sell House Fast.

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Let me repeat that last phrase … even though I don’t have that.

Imagine my not so pleasant surprise, as I was doing my research, to discover that apparently I do!

But more on that shortly. Let’s start at the beginning.

What is dry eye syndrome?

Our eyes are covered by three layers of tear film that protect the cornea:

• outer lipid layer
• aqueous layer
• inner mucin layer

Changing hormones can decrease one or more of these layers. In other words, our tears aren’t working like they should.

Now, I realize this is hard to believe, because another symptom of menopause is irrational bawling. But that aside, when there is an imbalance in our tear system, we can get dry eyes.

What are the symptoms?

When our eyes are not properly lubricated we can experience the following in our eyes:

• light sensitivity
• gritty sensation
• itching
• redness
• blurry vision
• pain

… and here’s what caught me off guard …

• tears streaming down our face for no apparent reason.

Not to be confused with irrational bawling. Like I said, that’s another menopausal symptom.

Well, over the past year, I have experienced tears streaming down my face for no apparent reason. Turns out this is because the eye is freaking out because it is too dry and it is telling the nervous system to create tears.

Now what?!

As is normally the case, there are ways to control this menopause symptom with and without medications.

First, we can do the following:

• keep room air moist with a humidifier
• stay hydrated
• avoid heat vents that blow straight into the eyes
• take fish oil supplements as Omega-3 is thought to help

If symptoms persist or are extreme, other options are:

• use of artifical tear drops and ointments
• surgery to plug the tear drains

Is it really menopause causing this?

I will add the caveat of consulting with your health care professional to eliminate other causes of dry eye syndrome such as:

• seborrhoeic dermatitis
• rosacea
• contact dermatitis
• allergic conjunctivitis
• Sjögren’s syndrome
• rheumatoid arthritis
• lupus
• shingles

Who knew?

So, there you have it. Turns out I have dry eye syndrome. This flow of tears doesn’t happen very often — okay, except for the irrational bawling — so for now I’ll just pay attention if it is triggered by a dry environment. But, if it gets worse, I now know what my options are.

Have your say:

Have you heard of dry eye syndrome?
Do you have it? And if so, is it bad enough to be bothersome?
Do you bawl irrationally? Okay, that was a trick question. If you are menopausal, of course you do.

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That’s right, to a significant degree my life is influenced by the red, burning rash on my face.

From what I eat and drink, to how I exercise, to what I put on my face, is all impacted by my rosacea and my efforts to keep it under control.

What is rosacea?

First, it is not acne. As a matter of fact, treating it as acne can make the condition far worse.

It is an inflammatory skin condition on the face characterized by:

• small red bumps or pustules on nose, cheeks, forehead and chin
• burning or stinging sensation
• visible spider line blood vessels
• burning or gritty sensation in eyes
• red bulbous nose

Rosacea is a chronic skin condition. There is no cure. However, it can be minimized by avoiding triggers.

What are the triggers?

Here is where my life is impacted by my rosacea. In an effort to keep my face as rash free as possible I have to avoid the following:

• foods that cause facial flushing including, horrors of all horrors, chocolate
• temperatures that heat up the face, including hot baths, sitting around a bonfire
• wind and sun
• beverages such as red wine, coffees and teas
• stress
• most skin care products and make up
• menopause … okay, we can’t avoid that one, but it is a trigger
• high intensity exercise

Each person is unique

My mother has rosacea, but her triggers are not necessarily the same as mine. It is really a matter of paying attention to what causes a flare up.

For me this means:

I eat a small square of 85% dark chocolate. To eat an entire milk chocolate bar is out of the question.

The heater in the car is nasty to my face. I can feel an almost instant burning sensation. Saunas and steam rooms are avoided at all costs. I do use our hot tub daily. I am sure it doesn’t help, but we did make some concessions that help. It is a salt water tub, which reduces any chemical reactions. Plus, we do not have a roof over the tub, so the heat doesn’t build up in the air.

I have to wear a hat all Summer long. Mind you, this is a good idea anyway. However, although most rosacea informational sites advise a good sun block, I cannot use any, as they themselves are triggers.

No red wine, but I can drink coffee and tea. I just have to let them cool down first. But zero tolerance to spicy foods.

The only make up I can wear is on my eyes and lips. As well, I have to use a very expensive, totally natural skin wash formulated for rosacea. It is applied gently using my fingers. The roughness of a facecloth is another trigger!

I had to give up running. I might have been fit, but my face was an unholy mess. Fortunately, power walking is fine.

Are there medications?

Yes, and again, what works for one person doesn’t work for another. Definitely see your dermatologist, and you might have to do a some trial and error.

I used a prescription gel, but to be honest I’m not good about getting to the doctor to refill the prescription. It was great when I could request refills over the phone, but those days are long gone. Now I need an actual appointment. This irritates me, so now I manage my condition with all the lifestyle changes I mentioned.

Finding a balance

As with any chronic condition, you need to balance minimizing your symptoms with enjoying life.

I was willing to give up running, but I am not willing to give up my hot tub. I drink a glass of red wine on the rare occassion (because red wine is so much nicer than white) and I accept my face will be red for several days afterwards.

Some people choose to cover up their redness with make-up, risking a vicious cycle of flare ups. I decided I would try not to let my rash bother me on the bad days, and head out bravely into the world with a smile.

If you suspect you have rosacea, please see your dermatologist immediately. Leaving it untreated can lead to very nasty facial scarring. W.C. Fields’ bulbous nose is a prime example. No offence to the late Mr. Fields, but I like my nose just as it is.

Have your say:

If you have rosacea, do you have any tips to share on avoiding triggers?
My biggest challenge is finding a facial wash that won’t irritate my skin. What works for you?

More information!

The following sites provide excellent information on rosacea:

Mayo Clinic
Rosacea Facts
National Rosacea Society

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To bring you up to date on my training, last Sunday I walked 9.6 miles (15.4 km) in 2 hours and 24 minutes. I thought that since I was now in harmony with my body in terms of exercise, the inner dialogue would stop.

Not so!

Instead, my body spent the walk nattering at me about food.

“I don’t like what we eat.”

“‘That’s because we eat chocolate bars and a bag of chips at 2 p.m. everyday at work”, I concurred.

“No. I mean in general,”‘ my body replied.

“What?”

This threw me. At home, I eat very healthfully.

“List all the foods you really love,” my body suggested, “without thinking. Just off the top of your head.”

So, I amused myself for the next block or so coming up with my favourite foods.

When I was done, my body said, “Where’s the bread? Where’s the pizza? Where’s the white pasta? Where’s the white rice? Where’s the heavy sauces? Where’s the red meats?”

I knew my body was firing this list at me because Mr Very Right does the cooking and he incorporates these food items into our meals.

“Well, I am not actually very fond of those foods. They are okay once in awhile, but not on a regular basis.”

“Then why are you eating them?”‘, my body quite reasonably asked.

“Um, because they are there,”‘ was my sheepish response.

“Uh huh,” was all my body had to say.

So, this week, I listened to my body and ate only what appealed to me. My only rule was it had to be healthy. As in no chocolate bars or bags or chip. Also, I didn’t worry about getting all my food groups at once. Or even in the same day!

This worked beautifully.

One day I craved a lot of fruit. Another day, I went heavier on the fresh veggies. Another day, what I really wanted most of was protein.

I had complete control over breakfast and lunch. For dinner, I only took the parts of Mr Very Right’s menu that appealed to me. Then I supplemented it with something else if need be.

The only problem I ran into was my brown bag lunch. I found by lunch time, I didn’t necessarily want what I had packed myself. So, I resolved to buy my lunches. A little pricier, but not much because I have a really good deli in my building where I can load up on fresh veggies or fruits for under $5.00.

As a result of my new strategy, in just a week I have gained my energy back and trimmed down. I only lost a pound, but my clothes fit better because I am no longer puffy and bloated.

I think the biggest change is that I am no longer reactive where food is concerned. Before I eat anything, I take the time to ask my body what it really wants.

And guess what?

It hasn’t asked for a single chocolate bar or bag of chips all week!

Gosh my body is smart.

Have your say:

Are you a reactive eater or a proactive eater?

More information!

In case you are just tuning into this series, here are the rest of the Sharing a challenge posts to date:

Sharing a challenge
Motivation
Getting the right fuel for the job
Falling off the rails
Going into survival mode
My body rebels
I finally listen to my body

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