Embracing life with the Red Hat Society

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we’ve no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I’m tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick flowers in other people’s gardens
And learn to spit. _excerpt from Warning by Jenny Joseph

Isn’t this a fantastic poem? The freedom to not care what we look like or how we act?

But why wait until we are old? Why not start now?

Just like the ladies in the Red Hat Society.

I was in my early thirties when I first heard of the Red Hat Society. Old women strutting their stuff in flamboyant red hats and purple dresses. Purple! Who wears purple?

My very controlled self was horrified. These women were deliberately drawing attention to themselves! How completely undignified of them.

That was then. But here I am looking at 50, which is NOT old, and my reaction is entirely different.

You go, girls!

It all started innocently enough. Sue Ellen Cooper gave a friend a gift of a red hat and a copy of the Jenny Joseph poem. The friend gave this same gift to another friend. And just like the old shampoo commerical, she gifted two friends, and she gifted two friends, and the Red Hat Society was born.

And there is nothing undignified about these ladies. While they push the boundaries of society’s rules for older women, they certainly aren’t out tearing up the town like a gaggle of brash hussies. They are simply a group of energetic women sharing  companionship, support, and laughs.

I think my grandmothers, two women I greatly admired, were closet Red Hatters. Hair coiffed and make up always applied. Keenly interested in their family and the world around them. But very strong women each in their own way. One by making a marriage work through difficulties by firmly laying down the ground rules. Another who taught sexual health to service men in the Second World War, driving herself home in an army jeep from posh events, ball gown hitched up to her thighs.

I still struggle a bit with just being me in public. There’s still that part of me afraid of someone thinking I am acting foolish. However, the times I truly relax, I find myself having a fantastic time. I realize that if someone else is horrified they are simply like that very controlled younger women who was once me.

I repeat

You go, girls!

If you are interested in joining a Red Hat Society chapter, or forming one for your area, please check out the Red Hat Society website.

Then go out and buy yourself a red hat and purple dress. And perhaps even learn to spit.

Your say

• Are you simply you no matter what the situation, or are there times you are concerned about what others may think?
• Do you belong to a ‘community of women’ like a book club or sorority?

Suggested Reading:

Please read the full poem here Warning by Jenny Joseph.

Your turn

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