Eliza’s note: Donna Andersen is this week’s Featured Woman Who Makes a Difference. Make sure you download the free eBook Women Who Make a Difference and read how Donna makes a difference. Click here: download free eBook.

When I married a sociopath, I came face to face with a type of “real” that I never knew existed. But it took me awhile to figure it out.

When I first met this man, he portrayed himself to be an astute and successful businessman who was head-over-heels in love with me. That turned out not to be real.

So what was real? He was a con artist. He juggled multiple women at all times, taking money from most of them. (He didn’t limit his targets to women—men were swindled as well.) From me, he took $227,000.

But he didn’t just ask for a handout. He presented his requests for money as investments in our future. I was supposedly helping him get his businesses off the ground, so that we would live a life of luxury. But that wasn’t real. He used my money to entertain other women.

I didn’t figure that out right away either. So even though I knew my money was draining away, I was trying to be “the good wife.” I asked myself, “What kind of wife leaves her marriage because her husband’s business plans aren’t working out?” The problem was, my marriage wasn’t real.

Eventually, I learned the truth—everything he told me was a lie. It was an ugly truth. It took me a long time to process it. But once I did, I was able to learn some things that were real:

• I am worthy.
• I am deserving of love.
• I have a gift to offer the world.

There are people who live their lives by exploiting others. They’re called sociopaths, and they are real. But the promises they make, the love they profess, the pictures of everlasting happiness that they paint—well, none of it is real.

Now, through my website, Lovefraud.com, and my book, Love Fraud, I help people from all over the world distinguish between what is real, and what is not. Many people have told me that Lovefraud has saved their lives.

Donna Andersen is author of Lovefraud.com a website that teaches people how to recognize and recover from sociopaths. She tells the whole outrageous yet inspirational story of her marriage in her book, Love Fraud—How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan. Her next book will be released in Spring, 2012. The title is Red Flags of Love Fraud—10 signs you’re dating a sociopath.

Silver & Grace Approved Books

Love Fraud has the Silver & Grace Seal of Approval as an excellent resource for women. It is available through Amazon: Love Fraud

For other Silver & Grace approved books check out Eliza’s Recommendations.

Embracing the fun, sexy, intelligent and real you

As we go through life we collect relationships. Most good, but there are definitely some that suck the energy right out of us. They detract from our fun, sexy, intelligent and real self. Let’s work together to greatly reduce — even eliminate! — the energy drain and increase your energy enhancing relationships. To learn more about my intuitive mentoring options check out Eliza’s Mentoring or contact me using this convenient form.

I make the world aware of the most destructive people of the human race.

They are called sociopaths, and no, they are not all deranged serial killers. They are social predators who live their lives by exploiting others. These are the people who abuse their partners, neglect their children, steal from employers, swindle customers and bully co-workers. Sociopaths have no heart, no conscience and no remorse.

Wow, eh? Talk about a life’s mission!

Donna is this week’s Woman Who Makes a Difference, and if she can save even one woman from falling victim to a sociopath, then she will have made a very huge difference indeed. And I am sure she has saved more than one already.

I met Donna when I reviewed her book Love Fraud which chronicles in honest and heart wrenching details her victimization by her sociopathic husband and her climb out of the vicious trap she found herself in.

While I have never been exposed to a sociopath I have personally experienced the anguish of being associated with a narcissist. Three of them, in fact! The modus operandi is similar to that of a sociopath, and I totally understand the self-doubt, fear, confusion and soul sucking we experience at the hands of  a sociopath.

Donna is tireless in her effort to expose sociopaths, educate women on how to identify and avoid them, and support women who are recovering from relationships with them. One look at her website, lovefraud.com, and you can see at glance her efforts: videos, books, education, resources, blog.

Donna and I are on similar missions. We both have the common goal of guiding women to be fun, sexy, intelligent, real and EMPOWERED. Donna does that by making women aware of a very dangerous predator, and showing women how to stand strong in the face of this enemy. Not just through her words, but by her own actions.

In this way, Donna Andersen makes a very real difference.

I encourage you to learn all you can about how to recognize a sociopath through Donna’s wisdom. You can find her at:

Contributor to the free inspirational eBook – Women Who Make a Difference
Visit her website – lovefraud.com
Purchase her book – Love Fraud

Silver & Grace Approved Books

Looking for other invaluable resources about relationships? The following books have the Silver & Grace Seal of Approval as excellent resources for women:

Thriving After Divorce
Relationships From Addiction to Authenticity

For more Silver & Grace approved books check out Eliza’s Recommendations.

This is where Anna Lefler comes in with her book The CHICK-tionary. In actual fact, it is a book written for women which includes 450+ words no woman can live without. However, I highly recommend you leave the book lying around the house for your man to read. It should make his life easier. Mind you, it could have the opposite effect and thoroughly convince him that we are utterly incoherent.

For example, a particularly helpful definition for a man is the explanation for this phrase:

Does This Make Me Look Fat?

A seemingly straightforward yet treacherous question that requires different repsonses depending on the gender of the person to whom it is addressed. When asked of a male, the reply must be a swift adn emphatic, “No!” Ideally, this is will followed up immediately with glowing modifiers such as, “You look hot!” and “Are you kidding? You need to gain a few pounds, hon!”

I learned a few new things myself, like

Puff Daddy

Term for the noticeable bulge of a woman’s pubic area below the belly button.

Geez! I just recently learned what a camel toe was. Now I find out we can have a camel toed puff daddy!

I also changed my business plan based on this definition

Jewelry Party

Also know in some areas as the Silpada party, this in-home sale event induces severe feelings of guilt and regret, either because you didn’t buy enough merchandise to earn the hostess her freebie gift or beause you were a little too transported by the Kenny G playying in the background and blew your entire car payment on two pairs of earrings.

The CHICK-tionary is informative and hilarious. Anna irreverently pokes fun at our girl speak, digging below the literal meaning to all emotional responses crammed into each word and phrase.

This is a great book to have lying around the house, and would make an absolutely fantastic gift for the girlfriends in your life. You can create a game of incorporating one new CHICK-tionary word into your conversations each day. Bonus points for each bewildered look you create in a man.

This book review is sponsored by TLC Book Tours.

You can find Anna Lefler at Life Just Keeps Getting Weirder and her website Anna Lefler.

Silver & Grace Approved Books

The CHICK-tionary has the Silver & Grace Seal of Approval as an excellent resource for women. It is available through Amazon.

The Chicktionary: From A-line to Z-snap, the words every woman should know

For more Silver & Grace approved books check out Eliza’s Recommendations.

The new reality for relationships in 2011 is that they are leaning more and more towards online dating. Especially when you are over the age of 40. By signing up to a few dating websites that cater to your specific needs, you will gain access to thousands of singles like yourself, looking for love by modern means. To get the most out of your online experience and maximize your chances for success, follow these four simple online dating tips:

#1: Be honest, be yourself. This will probably be the most important lesson you learn in your online dating journey. When filling out your online dating profile and connecting with other singles, be sure to be truthful about the information you disclose about yourself. If the truth is stretched on anything—even on something seemingly small like a profile picture that was taken fifteen years ago—it can create a world of trouble for you down the road. The truth will come out eventually and a sure start to a doomed relationship is a lie.
Just remember that to attract someone who is right for you, your best bet is to be yourself and stay true to your values. If a potential partner doesn’t accept you for who you are then they are not the one.

#2: Showcase yourself. You know you’re a catch and any man would be lucky to have you. But does your online dating profile highlight how smart, funny and charming (the list goes on, of course) you are? This is your opportunity to market yourself to gentlemen who have thousands of other ladies available to them with the click of a mouse—be original and set yourself apart by highlighting your specific qualities, characteristics and the parts of life you enjoy.

After you’ve set up your online profile that is guaranteed to capture the hearts of online singles worldwide and line up dates for you to keep you booked through next year, revisit your information on your page from time to time. Make updates as you see fit and try to look at your profile as another person viewing it for the first time.

#3: Stay upbeat. When interacting with fellow singles across the World Wide Web, keep in mind that if you come across as despondent, bitter or desperate, you may miss out on a number of quality men because you have turned them away with your negativity. In your first communications with an online friend, it is also important not to dwell on serious topics like politics, religion or any serious issues regarding your past—there will be plenty of time for that later. Instead, focus on light-hearted subjects and embrace this opportunity you have to meet someone new. Remember to stay positive and a happy energy is sure to radiate from you, attracting a like-minded individual.

#4: Play it safe. Because of the anonymity that the internet provides, you never know who you might be dealing with. To avoid potential danger and minimize the risks that come along with online dating, be sure to use your best judgment and exercise extreme caution by following a few safety tips:

• In early communications with an online suitor, never give out personally identifying material. This includes your home address, place of employment, phone number, email address, financial information, etc.
• On you first couple of dates with a man you met on the web, never rely on him for transportation. Always let someone know where you are going and be sure to meet your date at a crowded, public place.
• If ever a cyber-friend should make you feel uncomfortable at any point during your interactions, listen to your gut and cease all communication. Any man who is pursuing you for the right reasons won’t put you in a questionable situation and will respect your need for protection.

If you don’t find love right away, that’s okay…don’t rush! Know that every day, thousands of women over 40 are finding love and companionship online and you can too. Relax and bask in the fun you are having on this new adventure in your life!

Sabrina Jackson, shares with us her suggestions for online dating for women over 40. Sabrina is also the author of similar articles about dating and relationships for Free Dating Sites for Women.

Silver & Grace Approved Books

Looking for books on relationships? The following books have the Silver & Grace Seal of Approval as excellent resources for women. They can be purchased through Amazon.

Thriving After Divorce: Transforming Your Life When a Relationship Ends

Relationships from Addiction to Authenticity: Understanding Co-Sex Addiction – A Spiritual Journey to Wholeness and Serenity

Love Fraud: How marriage to a sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan (Family Relationships)

For more Silver & Grace approved books check out Eliza’s Recommendations.

Eliza’s note: Barbara Barth is this week’s Featured Woman Who Makes a Difference. Make sure you download the free eBook Women Who Make a Difference and read how Barbara makes a difference. Click here: download free eBook.

It had been a year since I’d had a date. Embarrassing to say, I’ve had sex on my mind for the last few months. I live with the fear that since I am on my own, at the ripe, but sexy, age of 63, I might join the ranks of those gals who say to me they never want sex again. Who needs a man? One friend from my old days at work confided at dinner she hadn’t had sex in eight years. I choked as I gulped down a huge slug of my Margarita.

“Eight friggin’ years?” She had been one of the hottest gals in our younger days. “I’d be dead.”

“Well, I just don’t want a man around. Don’t miss sex at all.”

I am not sure I am ready to have a man around full time, but, gee, sex, sooner than later, would be nice.

In my book, The Unfaithful Widow: Fragmented Memoirs Of My First Year Alone, I state you need a man to have sex! I know there are many options, but I’ve always enjoyed having a male to take care of business for me.

At the beginning of this year I opened a shop. I haven’t had time to do much else. My dry spell was making me a bit daft, so I decided I needed to do something about it. I have discovered that the longer I am without sex, the more surreal it seems. This is a frightening thought from a gal who had a handsome man on call for 25 years.

I joined a new dating site. Free. Sometimes you get what you pay for. My visit brought a young, forty-four year old male, and a Trojan Horse to my computer. I spent $150 to get my computer working again, and more dollars on some slim fitting jeans for our first dinner date.

I was a bit of a wreck on my way to catch up with him at the restaurant. I’d lied about my age, and was meeting him after a ten-hour day at the shop. I was tired rather than excited.

“You look younger than fifty-eight,” he smiled at me as we sat down at Applebee’s. He was cute, tall, blond, but a bit bland. He looked younger than his forty-four years.

We discussed our likes and dislikes. His likes were simple. “I’m an exhibitionist.” Then he proceeded to tell me about having his photo in the amateur section of Playgirl in 2002.

“How nice.” I am never shocked. “So glad it was Playgirl and not Craig’s list.” I smiled back at him.

Suddenly he pulled out his iPhone and passed it across the table to me.

“I couldn’t get the Playgirl photos on here, so I took a photo of my dick earlier today to show you.”

And there, while I was sipping my drink, was his wiener peeking out from under a t-shirt. It could have been anyone’s dick. But the next two photos showed me it was his.

How do you react to that? You pray the waitress hasn’t also seen the photos and is calling the cops.

Online dating, iPhones, and a text message to meet for dinner with a young man who could have been my son! He thought I was hot. I thought he was not. The photos were harmless. If he’d kept his iPhone in his jeans, I might have been reaching in them myself. But I had seen enough to satisfy my curiosity.

We never dated. But I left Applebee’s thinking, after a year, YES! I am back in the game.

Barbara Barth sleeps with dogs, five to be exact! They are her writing muses. She blogs for the Lawrenceville Patch.com and on Lifetime Television’s The Balancing Act where she is the CEO of Life with her Monday posts. She is working on two new books, her widow sequel and a dog book. Recently Barbara moved her shop to historic downtown Lawrenceville, Georgia, where all she loves is under one roof. From mid-week through the weekend you will find her selling treasures and hosting events at The Little Shop Of Arts And Antiques. She can be found at www.barbarabarth.net, www.writerwithdogs.com, www.thelittleshopofartsandantiques.com.

Silver & Grace Approved Books

The Unfaithful Widow has the Silver & Grace Seal of Approval as an excellent resource for women. It can be purchased through Amazon by clicking here: The Unfaithful Widow: Fragmented Memoirs Of My First Year Alone

Create a strong community of fun, sexy, intelligent, and real women over forty
supporting each other in our wisdom phase of life.

I determined that my contribution to this community would come in the form of information, mentoring, and touchstone jewelry, all in aid of bringing out the fun, sexy, intelligent and real in all of us.

My mission has not deviated, and I am honoured that women around the world have not only joined the community, but actively participate in providing their own unique form of support.

But now I want to up the ante! I am breaking down this mission into a goal. It is an ambitious one, but having witnessed the incredible value derived from this community, it is one I am passionate about.

Ready?

Here it is …

By December 31, 2012, have a community of Silver & Grace women 1000 strong.

Yep, you read that right. ONE THOUSAND women!

That is one thousand women sharing, collaborating, and supporting each other.

One thousand women crying, laughing, and loving together.

One thousand Silver & Grace women MAKING A DIFFERENCE in their own lives, and thereby in their family, community and world.

Now a fair question to ask is “But Eliza, how will you know when this community reaches 1000 women?”

By averaging out the following:

• number of women who receive the Silver & Grace newsletter
• number of women who belong to the Silver & Grace Facebook page
• number of daily visits to this website

Based on that the community currently has 206 members.

How cool is that?

206 women already sharing, collaborting, and supporting each other.

206 women crying, laughing and loving together.

206 women who are MAKING A DIFFERENCE in their own lives, and thereby in their family, community and world!

Only 794 more women to go!

Together we can grow this community.

Together we can all MAKE A VERY REAL DIFFERENCE.

Free inspirational eBook

If you have not already done so, please download this free inspirational eBook Women Who Make a Difference, and find out how eight women from the Silver & Grace community are making their own difference. Simply click here: Women Who Make a Difference

However, I did become a first-time mom in my mid-thirties, and it is one of the most fulfilling experiences of my life. I had my reasons for doing so, and I think they’re pretty good ones myself. The current trend in motherhood seems to agree with me: a lot of modern mommies prefer to wait to be in their thirties before conceiving and giving birth. In the UK, a 2006 survey revealed that over 25,000 babies were born to mommies who were at least forty years old. To say that I’m in good company is an understatement! Here are some personal reasons for being a mom in my thirties:

• I concentrated on my career first and saved for the baby’s arrival. While plenty of women may panic at the thought of the biological clock ticking away, I really think a better reason to panic would be to bring children into this world without adequately providing financial and emotional support for them. The important thing is to be healthy and have regular consultations with our doctor for fertility tests. My husband John and I discussed having a baby very thoroughly, and agreed that we’d wait until we saved up a substantial amount for raising a family and providing opportunities for our child to have the best education and quality of life that they deserve.

• I can devote more time to being there for my child. Beyond having funds for our child’s delivery and rearing, John and I agreed that we want to be there for Isabel during her formative years. This is one of the biggest reasons why I opted for a home-based setup. There is nothing quite like witnessing my daughter’s firsts, and bonding with her in ways that no child care centers, nannies, or substitute caregivers can provide.

• I have ample experience and preparation to become a mother. Having a succession of other people’s babies in my life to take care of and play with, including nephews, nieces, and my friends’ kids, have really sharpened my mommy skills. Of course I’m no expert, but at least I didn’t feel ill-equipped at handling my daughter when she was born, nor panic at the smallest things in the course of caring for her.

• I was in good celebrity company. Despite the fact that most late-bloomer moms get the short end of the stick, there is a treasure trove of Hollywood A-listers who chose to be moms in their mid to late thirties, or early forties. Both Nicole Kidman and Halle Berry were forty-one when they had their first babies. Holly Hunter had twins at age forty-seven. For me, they are the best examples of late-bloomer moms who know how to juggle a successful career with motherhood.

I do agree that conceiving and having babies at age thirty-five and beyond poses more health risks compared to women who have them in their twenties. However, as far as this late-bloomer mom (by choice!) is concerned, having Isabel in my life during my mid-thirties is an enriching and fulfilling experience I will never trade for anything else in this world.

Kristin Swope is a work at home mom (WAHM) who does freelance writing for Backyard Ocean, an internet supplier of swimming pools and accessories. She is a proud mom to five year old Isabel and has no qualms about entering her forties as a mother soon.

Other interesting articles and sites

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/you/article-1073430/Late-baby-bloomers-Will-older-mothers-regret-choice.html
http://latebloomingmom.blogspot.com/
http://izettl.hubpages.com/hub/Becoming-a-Mom-in-Your-Thirties
http://silverandgrace.com/conflict-between-new-parents-and-grandparents

Join the Silver & Grace Community!

Get my FREE eBook Developing Our Intuitive Self: 4 Super Simple Meditation Techniques and weekly Silver & Grace Newsletter by joining the Silver & Grace Community. Click here to join! After you join, you will receive an email in 24 hours to download your free eBook gift.

Tap into your intuition to live a more aware life

Tarot and oracle cards are used to draw out the energies of your intuition to place them visually before you for analysis. This is a very simple, but powerful tool that anyone can use, anytime, anywhere, helping you to live a more aware life.

Never used tarot cards before? Purchase my eGuide Developing Our Intuitive Self: Tarot and Oracle Card User Guide and quickly learn how to fast track straight to your intuition. Click here for details!

1. It’s okay, even healthy, to have secrets: It’s your relationship, not anyone else’s, and there is no gold standard marriage. Everyone has issues, problems, and most importantly, their own secrets, so don’t worry that your marriage isn’t measuring up. No one knows what’s really going on in a marriage except the two people in it. That gives each of us the freedom to write our own rules and keep our own secrets.

2. You don’t get it all it one place. Staying married takes bold creativity, a variety of sideline adventures. If you depend on one person in one house to sustain you until death do you part that’s a ticket to divorce. A marriage that runs on multiple tracks makes for a happier wife who gets to have it both ways — a committed marriage and adventures in uncharted territory.

3. Resurrect childhood passions. Those hobbies and sports you loved to do, and excelled at, as a child bring raw primal energy and invigorated self-esteem. Take up surfing again, become a potter, get back on a horse, go back to school. Too often those hobbies of childhood get left behind as we sit on benches and watch our children race around playing fields and accrue academic kudos. Getting back out there yourself and re-engaging with the best of the old brings on a re-birth of youthful optimism and vigor.

4. Hang out with outrageous girlfriends. The wives with the highest marital satisfaction have a tight circle of wild and warm women friends with whom to drink, travel and vent. With women in their early 90s comprising the fastest growing segment of the aging population, and many marriages lasting more than 50 years, we’re going to need all the laughs and support we can get! Our girlfriends, ever-forgiving and always empathetic, provide the escape hatch from the inevitable storms and challenges that come with long marriages.

5. Take Separate Vacations – or Separate Summers. You like to camp and your husband likes to golf? Spend a month in the Adirondacks while he goes with his buddies to Scottsdale or better yet, Scotland. After some weeks apart from each other, removed from the grind of ordinary life, marriage seems way hotter than the tepid state in which you left each other in. Couples who allow each other to grow separately are the ones with the best chance of growing together and staying together.

6. Indulge in boy-best-friendships. Platonic friendships are a sexy pick-me-up without the complications of adultery. Women who love the company of men shouldn’t have to eliminate male friends from their lives; these extra-marital males who always think we’re smart and beautiful (because they don’t live with us) are actually a relief for any smart husband. Benign boyfriends that offer manly insights and advice means less work for the man you are married to.

7. Lower your expectations. It’s a dangerous fantasy to think marriage really means happily-ever-after. Expecting perfection in a marriage or a mate is a fast ticket to divorce. This realization forces women in aging marriages to be urgent about creating their own purpose and passions outside of their relationships. Marital bliss is possible if each partner is blissful without the other.

8. Be grateful. In between wifely gallivants and self-exploration, remember to love the guy you’re with – kiss him hello and goodbye, and make time for conversation and intimacy, no matter how crammed your schedules are. Remember to thank the confident and flexible husband that allows you to have an independent and fulfilling life beyond your marriage. Don’t try to win every fight; give in, surrender and say “I’m sorry” (even if you’re not sorry one bit) instead of holding onto snarly anger that forms toxic wedges over time. Demonstrating ongoing vulnerability and compassion definitely makes spouses behave better. And the ability to bounce back from strife and arguments is the real secret that makes marriages last forever.

Inspired by Iris Krasnow’s THE SECRET LIVES OF WIVES .

Join the Silver & Grace Community!

Get my FREE eBook Developing Our Intuitive Self: 4 Super Simple Meditation Techniques and weekly Silver & Grace Newsletter by joining the Silver & Grace Community. Click here to join! After you join, you will receive an email in 24 hours to download your free eBook gift.

Tap into your intuition to live a more aware life

Tarot and oracle cards are used to draw out the energies of your intuition to place them visually before you for analysis. This is a very simple, but powerful tool that anyone can use, anytime, anywhere, helping you to live a more aware life.

Never used tarot cards before? Purchase my eGuide Developing Our Intuitive Self: Tarot and Oracle Card User Guide and quickly learn how to fast track straight to your intuition. Click here for details!

To date we have covered:

Relationships Matter
We Can’t Do It All
Listen First, Speak Second
Dig Deeper
Just Do It
It Doesn’t Matter How You Get There
Be True To Yourself

We now move onto our last key to success at work and home, Principle #8:

Celebrate

Interestingly, this is the only one of the principles I can point to and say there is very real cultural difference. As an English gal living in a French province I have discovered that the French know how to celebrate! They totally get it. Be it a small accomplishment or a big one, they crack open a bottle of wine, and congratulate each other on a job well done.

I have to say we English totally suck at that. We have too much of a Calvinist work ethic to even acknowledge our small accomplishments, and are way too humble to make a scene about our big accomplishments.

Well, work, work, work, makes us, our home lives and our places of business very dull!

At work, have you puzzled your way through a very difficult problem and had a total Ah Ha! Moment on a solution? Sure you have.

Okay, did you then jump up from your seat and yell YESSSS! ?

No, eh?

The next time you solve a problem that had you stumped go high five the person in the next office. You will only feel silly the first time you do it. After that, you will simply feel great.

If you are part of a team, when you meet your deliverables take one hour and go for breakfast.

Celebrating at work is an important bonding opportunity and acknowledging your collective awesomeness makes for a strong organization.

At home, when you accomplish a goal, like paying off a credit card, or completing a home renovation project, congratulate yourself and celebrate!

It doesn’t even have to be a big accomplishment. The next you make it all the way through that pile of ironing, stop to savour how great that feels.

It is most definitely okay to acknowledge your accomplishments, big … and small! Necessary even. It’s an important reminder to yourself of how awesome you are.

And you deserve to celebrate that awesomeness.

Join the Silver & Grace Community!

Get my FREE eBook Developing Our Intuitive Self: 4 Super Simple Meditation Techniques and weekly Silver & Grace Newsletter by joining the Silver & Grace Community. Click here to join! After you join, you will receive an email in 24 hours to download your free eBook gift.

Tap into your intuition to live a more aware life

Tarot and oracle cards are used to draw out the energies of your intuition to place them visually before you for analysis. This is a very simple, but powerful tool that anyone can use, anytime, anywhere, helping you to live a more aware life.

Never used tarot cards before? Purchase my eGuide Developing Our Intuitive Self: Tarot and Oracle Card User Guide and quickly learn how to fast track straight to your intuition. Click here for details!

To date we have covered:

Relationships Matter
We Can’t Do It All
Listen First, Speak Second

We now move onto Principle #4:

Dig Deeper

In the Listen First, Speak Second  post I talked about the importance of truly listening to others before you formulate a response. But, even then you probably aren’t ready to respond. To truly make relationships matter and to be empathetic, it is important to ask questions.

Too often I have been privy to conversations, in both my personal and work life, where someone expresses a need. Perhaps they are looking for advice, or they are asking for help. What I witness is the other person nod and immediately offer up advice, or run off and provide the help.

As a third party looking in, I realize quite often the person doing the asking is simply starting off with a very surface requirement. They have not even begun to fully express themselves. As a matter of fact, they likely haven’t taken the time themselves to fully explore what they really need.

It is up to us, the listener, to start asking questions. This way we can help the person to express their real need. Then and only then can we provide them with the appropriate advice or help.

We have to listen first, then dig deeper.

The initial spoken word most often is just the tip of the iceberg. When we start to focus on relationships and empathy we shut up and listen, then we care enough to dig deeper.

People know what they want. They just might need help expressing it.

Join the Silver & Grace Community!

Get my FREE eBook Developing Our Intuitive Self: 4 Super Simple Meditation Techniques and weekly Silver & Grace Newsletter by joining the Silver & Grace Community. Click here to join! After you join, you will receive an email in 24 hours to download your free eBook gift.

Tap into your intuition to live a more aware life

Tarot and oracle cards are used to draw out the energies of your intuition to place them visually before you for analysis. This is a very simple, but powerful tool that anyone can use, anytime, anywhere, helping you to live a more aware life.

Never used tarot cards before? Purchase my eGuide Developing Our Intuitive Self: Tarot and Oracle Card User Guide and quickly learn how to fast track straight to your intuition. Click here for details!