Balance of energies and featured jewelry
The triangle. Upright it represents the Father, Son and Holy Ghost. But, turn it upside down, and all of sudden you have Maid, Mother and Crone. I get kind of a chuckle out of the fact that if male energy is thrown for a loop, you get female energy.
But, that is just me being sassy.
The fact is, we need both male and female energy. In the world, in our lives, in ourselves. One without the other creates a serious imbalance, and things go all wonky.
Case in point, let’s take my work. Now, I know one shouldn’t write about one’s job, but I work with a good bunch of fellows and they are in full agreement with what I am about to say.
Notice I said good bunch of fellows. Men. The management team at work is all men. And I’m not talking a management team of two or three. I’m talking six of them. Can you say ‘testosterone’?
So, when they were considering inviting me to join their management team, they asked me why they should include me.
Ladies, you will be shocked, but I said they needed to include me because I am a woman.
Trust me, I am not one to pull my gender. EVER! If I ask a man for help, it’s because I have determined that I either cannot do the task due to skill set, or I simply do not want to do the task. If a woman standing next to me could operate a skill saw, I would ask her.
Nor have I ever considered the notion of using my gender in any way to gain an advantage at work. As my dear friend Barbara, author of the Unfaithful Widow, says delightfully “I could never remember if you put out before or after to get a job, so I went with brains and hard work”.
So, my response to these wonderful gentlemen wasn’t about me being a woman so much, as all of them being male. And trust me, it showed in their leadership style, and our projects were suffering because of it.
Don’t get me wrong, male leadership style is needed. Rather, the projects were suffering because of the lack of balance.
And clever gentlemen that they are, they promptly invited me to the team.
Now, I realize I am only one woman to their six men, but I am one very strong woman (me being sassy again). I have in turn been able to empower other women in our division and there is definitely a shift in energy.
Not a pendulum swing away from male to female energy, but to a beautiful balance of both.
In honour of female energy, I have created the Silver & Grace Signature Pieces. Each necklace in this line has a chainmaille inverted triangle representing the Maid, Mother and Crone. While we may have moved into the Crone stage in terms of years, we continue to experience all aspects of this triad.
- The Maid when we are entering into a new situation
- The Mother when we are nurturing
- The Crone when we are sharing wisdom
The necklace pendants in the Signature line are one of a kind. When you buy a piece from this line, you are the only woman to wear it. It is unique.
As are you.
My first Signature piece is Dew Drops. To make this one of a kind necklace yours, please visit the Silver & Grace store. Upon check out, be sure to enter Discount Code C3609 to get 10% off. This code is valid on this item only and is good until August 12, 2010.
More information!
Each Friday a new design is featured and offered at a 10% discount until the following Thursday.
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Book review: It’s Not That I’m Bitter …
I love to laugh. As a matter of fact, people at work say they know where to find me by following the sound of my laughter.
I love, therefore, people who make me laugh, and one of the great things about reviewing books is finding new funny authors.
E, author of Shmirshky, is very funny.
Barbara Barth, author of The Unfaithful Widow, is very funny.
And now I have found my new funny author, Gina Barreca, with her book It’s Not That I’m Bitter … Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying About Visible Panty Lines and Conquered the World.
Reading It’s Not That I’m Bitter … is like watching a stand up comedy routine, without being subjected to the inevitable annoying heckler in the audience. Unless you count my Siamese if I happen to be reading during his treat time.
The great thing about stand up comics is that they are simply stating facts about everyday life. They just happen to point out what nobody else is willing to, or they put a fantastic spin on the facts.
Gina Barreca has this down to a science when it comes to the daily life of the us over forty gals.
Take bathing suit shopping. Her description of women attempting to purchase bathing suits is brilliant, but I really laughed out loud at this part:
No man – no straight man in Western civilization, that is – has ever tried on a bathing suit. Men wear the bathing suit their mothers bought them when they were seventeen until there’s a hole where they put their keys, and then they walk into some cheap store, find the sale bin, find a suit, hold it up, say, “it’s blue; it’ll fit,” and then they leave.
It’s true! Name me a man — straight man in Western civilization — that tries on a bathing suit before buying it!
It’s Not That I’m Bitter … is full of obvious, yet funny, facts like this. From bathing suit shopping, to gift giving, to feminism, Gina covers it all.
But, just as I was getting really comfortable and thinking It’s Not That I’m Bitter is a laugh a minute, I find a few poignant moments. Like what it is to love a man who is not available to freely love you back.
Then … right back to laughter.
And like any good comedian, Gina’s stories are really to make us stop and think about issues. As she explains at the being of the book, her ‘role is to notice patterns of foolishness in our collective human behaviour and to chronicle them.’
I say she did an excellent good job.
More information!
Make sure you come back on July 15, 2010, to enter to win a copy of Gina Barreca’s It’s Not That I’m Bitter …
You can find out more about Gina and her book at Untamed & Unabashed
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Blog carnival
Do you have a post you would like to share on aging? Submit your post to the monthly Silver & Grace blog carnival.
The Story Behind – Gogo’s Dream: Swaziland Discovered
I’m not one for poetry, okay, unless it is by a children’s poet like Shel Silverstein or Dennis Lee. But grown up adult poetry just doesn’t grab me. I can list exactly three poems I like:
The Jabberwocky
The Rime of the Ancient Mariner
The Creation of Sam McGee
That’s it, that’s all!
Until I was sent some poetry by Linda M. Rhinehart Neas from her book Gogo’s Dream: Swaziland Discovered. And what makes her poems even more awesome is the story behind her collection.
But I’ll let Linda tell that story.
Four years ago, two things happened. I became a grandmother for the first time and my life was touched by the writing of a young Australian doctor, who later introduced me to the Gogo’s (grandmothers) of Swaziland.
Dr. Maithri Goonetilleke is the co-founder of Possible Dreams International (PDI), a non-profit organization that brings aid to the Gogos, their families and communities. My connection to the Gogos grew through posts on his blog, his poetry and the photos sent from his visits to Swaziland. After all, as a grandmother myself, I could empathize with their fears and joys half way around the world.
Last year, when PDI was first established, I began brainstorming ways I could help support the efforts of Maithri and the team in Swaziland. My greatest talent is my writing, but how could I use it to benefit the Gogos?
Interestingly, a trip to the local historic society gave me the answer I was looking for at that time. There in the museum store was a book written by a local other. The author stated on the back cover that all proceeds from the sale of the book would go to the museum. Immediately, I knew what I would do.
Coincidentally, the Poem-a-Day Challenge had just begun. The facilitator suggested that we write our poems with a theme in mind. Swaziland came immediately to mind. Each day, I would look at the prompt for the view of the people and places in Swaziland.
Some of the poems illustrate the pain and suffering of the Gogos and their communities, some tell of the beauty of the land and the creatures there and some tell of life in Swaziland. I tried to paint a full and holistic picture of this land I have yet to visit.
When inspiration was slow in coming, I would look at the pictures of the Gogos with their grandchildren gathered around them. Almost immediately, the words would come pouring out. By the end of the challenge, I had a book of poems.
Through contacts, I learned about Blurb.com, through which I published my book. It was a great self-publishing experience. They give you the software to set up the book. They even offer a program for books that are fundraisers. Readers can get a sneak peak at: http://www.blurb.com/bookstore/detail/1321608
It is my hope that this book will educate, enlighten and inspire others. All of the profits go directly to PDI. It is amazing how far a small amount of money can go in helping the Gogos and their communities.
To learn more about PDI and the Gogos, go to http://www.possibledreamsinternational.org.
More information!
I have to include one of Linda’s poems:
Gogo’s Dream by Linda M. Rhinehart Neas © 2010
For the Gogos (Grandmothers) of Swaziland
African sun burns deep into your soul
As red-clay dust envelops your thoughts.
In the distance, the sound of a child
Crying, sobbing, wrenches your gut.
You kneel beside a Gogo,
Who exists only for her grandchildren.
Eighteen bodies crowd around -
Their faces belie their ages.
Babies who have seen too much -
Old before their time, yet,
Once smiles rise from the depths
Of their longing – they are young, again.
African moon pours silence over you
As night sings songs of sleep.
Gogo’s hut shines from within.
You stand outside wondering -
Perhaps it is a dream…
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Blog carnival
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The importance of female friendships
Synchronicity at work. At the same time I am reading a book to review about life long female friendships, I get the following email from B, a Silver & Grace community member:
I have just two women in my life who “get” me and I know would have my back in any circumstance and I theirs. There is nothing like it. I would not know what to do without these two great women and the strength they have given me in my worst times of need and have returned the favor, as well. These are the women who the men in our lives don’t “get” because they don’t understand. Sisterhood means so much more than blood lines!
There are many studies that point to the health benefits of female friendships. Cancer patients with strong female friendships have a higher survival rate. Having close friendships lowers our blood pressure, heart rate and cholesterol . As well, we are better able to manage stress.
I have to admit, I was not one for sisterhood. Late in high school, I belonged to a gaggle of girls, and we were inseparable for two years. But after graduation, we went our separate ways. I consider one of them my dear friend to this day, but we talk on the phone a couple of times per year, and make the effort to see each other once a year. But we have no idea what goes on in each other’s lives on a daily basis, so we don’t turn to each other when the life gets to us. Another older woman is near and dear to my heart, but again, our interactions are rare.
A group of women at work have been friends forever. They go on vacations together. Their families socialize on a regular basis. And they are each other’s constant comfort and support. I am honoured to be on the fringe of this group, but I have to admit that I would not want to move into the inner circle. I think I would feel claustrophobic.
However, while I might not have lifelong best girlfriends, I have always turned to women when I need to sort something out. Be that parenting, relationships, or career. And now, I am really starting to understand the benefits of sisterhood.
It all has to do with peri-menopause and menopause. Seriously, no man can even begin to discuss mood swings, insomnia and fluctuating libido with anything other than an “Oh my god, my wife has gone insane” response. Women, on the other hand, respond with “Oh, I know EXACTLY what you are talking about.”
Going back to B’s email, I like to think that the women currently in my life ‘get’ me. Maybe it’s because I am an open book. What you see is what you get, so people either like me or they don’t. But either way, they don’t have to peel back any layers to see the real me.
As for ‘having my back’, this is interesting. I have a very strong group of very dear male friends I turn to ‘to have my back’. My two brothers, Mr Very Right, and several incredible men I met through work. They have always rallied around me in a time of need, and I would jump through hoops of fire for them. But I can honestly say, there are now women I would turn to, and I hope they would turn to me. And I will even go as far as to say I would probably turn to them first, before my wonderful boys.
To be honest it is a trust thing. Up until my forties, I didn’t really trust females. Crazy, but true.
In public school and most of high school, I wasn’t very cool, so, my female friends were pretty fickle when it came to friendship. They would hang out with me when no one else was around, but dump me like a hot potato when a boy was involved, or the cool crowd showed up. My adopted sister and I were fiercely competitive on many fronts, and just as we moved beyond this in our early twenties, she died in an accident, so I’ll never know where this might have led. And throughout my thirties, I never fully trusted my partner, suspecting there was another woman involved. Ten years of suspicion were confirmed when an affair with this woman ended our relationship.
But life is different now. I am settled and content, and as I tune into my own gifts as a woman, I recognize those same gifts in other women. And I am passionate about celebrating these gifts of sisterhood.
Silver & Grace is a product of that passion. Thank you, B, for sharing your thoughts and prompting this post. This is what the Silver & Grace sisterhood is all about.
Have your say:
Do you have life long best female friends that you still turn to for support?
Do you find, as I do, that female friendship is becoming even more important as you get older?
Important information
My book review of The Girls From Ames will be posted on April 15. This is a true story of eleven women who have been friends for over thirty years.
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Defining wisdom
I have been pondering wisdom. After all, Silver & Grace is dedicated to the crone stage of womanhood, and I associate the crone with wisdom. Therefore, I should have a clear idea in my own mind what wisdom is. But when I tried to sum up wisdom into a nice neat package, I couldn’t do it.
Off to do some research on what wisdom is.
I started with the dictionary definition:
- the quality or state of being wise; knowledge of what is true or right coupled with just judgment as to action; sagacity, discernment, or insight.
- scholarly knowledge or learning: the wisdom of the schools.
- wise sayings or teachings; precepts.
- a wise act or saying.
This was less than helpful, since the definition of wisdom is the state of being wise. Off too look up wise:
- having the power of discerning and judging properly as to what is true or right; possessing discernment, judgment, or discretion.
- characterized by or showing such power; judicious or prudent: a wise decision.
- possessed of or characterized by scholarly knowledge or learning; learned; erudite: wise in the law.
- having knowledge or information as to facts, circumstances, etc.: We are wiser for their explanations.
This still left me dissatisfied. It seemed to be all about knowledge. But I think wisdom is much richer than that. So, I decided to seek the counsel of the Silver & Grace community. As I suspected, the responses held the richness I was looking for.
Wisdom is experience
Allison responded with
The way I see it, wisdom is… a combination of intelligence, experience, and maturity.
I wondered if you had to be older to have wisdom, because you need all those years under your belt to gain experience. To which Allison responded
And even at a young age you can have experience in many things – I think it’s possible to be wise about specific things, without necessarily being generally wise.
For example, you might see someone in their 80s who is wise about life in general, but who might not make wise decisions or give good advice about modern technology.
Which means wisdom is experience specific.
Wisdom is applied knowledge
Jamie came back with
According to my prof, it’s knowledge applied
To which I asked, “So not only do you have to have the knowledge you have to actively do something with it?”
Jamie came back with a response that made me laugh out loud
Yep, otherwise you’re just a run of the mill blow hard.
Which means wisdom is active.
Wisdom is silence
But then Linda offered the following
Wisdom is learning when it is better to keep your mouth shut. Until you learn that, you’re not wise.
So wisdom is passive.
Wisdom touches others
And right back to action with Becky’s tribute to her dad:
Dad shared his wisdom to all of whom he met, which were many, to meet their needs and expectations. He touched more lives with his wisdom on an individual basis. It was an honour and a privilege to have been his daughter and the wisdom he gave me lives on through me and when I have the opportunity to share it…I do!
Which means wisdom has an impact on others.
Wisdom is all these things
Then I headed over the Betsy’s post on Wisdom and the following jumped out at me:
Spinoza defined wisdom as seeing things sub specie eternitatis, in view of eternity; I suggest defining it as seeing things sub specie totius, in view of the whole.
And therein lies the richness of wisdom I was seeking. It is the whole of all these wonderful definitions.
Wisdom is about experiencing life. It is about applying the knowledge gained from those experiences to other experiences. It is knowing when to share, and when to keep your mouth shut. And wisdom is about influence.
I can now define for myself the wise crone. A woman who has blended all her life experiences into parcel of knowledge which enriches her life and the lives of those around her.
Your thoughts:
- Anything else you would like to add to the definition of wisdom?
- Is there a woman in your life who fits my definition of the wise crone?
Your turn
Do you have a personal story to share? Silver & Grace is always looking for stories that turn the theory into reality. To submit your story click here.
Is there a topic related to the spiritual or physical aspect of aging gracefully that you would like to see covered? Please send post ideas to Eliza by using the Silver & Grace contact form.
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