Why are we so cranky all of a sudden?
As a younger woman, I was in awe of my older female friends. They never seemed to take any crap from anybody. Now I am that ‘older’ female, and I find myself wondering exactly when and how the entire world turned stupid! I find that everything irritates me, and it’s impossible to keep quiet about it. And it sure doesn’t help having Mr. Very Right calmly explain to me that my indignation is completely illogical.
I now suspect it wasn’t really some epiphany of wisdom that struck my friends, as I thought. Rather, they were gripped by the lovely mood swings associated with perimenopause and menopause. And now I’m there, changing me from my usual go with the flow self to a raging lunatic at the drop of a hat.
How many women are affected by mood swings?
The statistics on how many women are affected seem to fluctuate as wildly as our emotions. Some reports say as little as 8%, while others go as high as 75%. I think it’s safe to say a lot.
There does seem to be agreement that some women are more likely to experience extreme mood swings than others based on:
- the severity of pre-menstrual syndrome symptoms;
- experiencing post-partum depression;
- being emotionally up and down during a pregnancy.
What is causing this roller coaster ride of emotions?
As our estrogen levels drop, in perimenopause and menopause, serotonin levels in our brains drop. Serotonin is our ‘feel good’ chemical. When we have less of it, we start to feel sad and melancholy.
Dropping estrogen levels also cause other menopausal symptoms. We experience insomnia due to night sweats, causing us to be tired and irritable. We are dealing with physical changes to our body that impact our self esteem, such as weight gain.
And chances are, all of this is taking place while we are still raising children. And for those of us in the Sandwich Generation, we are also taking care of aging parents.
Are there other possible causes?
Some other potential causes of our mood swings are:
- past mental illness;
- past trauma;
- relationship issues;
- smoking;
- alcohol;
- poor diet;
- stimulant use;
- heart disease;
- cancer;
- lupus;
- thyroid disease.
How do you calm the raging beast that is living inside you?
I found awareness helped a lot. As soon as I figured out there was a physical reason for my seemingly illogical reactions, I could take better control of my reactions. It also helped to explain to Mr Very Right what was happening, so he could just chuckle and walk away, instead of lecturing me.
Other ways to help control your mood swings include:
- regular exercise to boost serotonin and help with sleeping;
- eat a balanced diet, including complex carbohydrates to boost serotonin;
- switch to decaffeinated teas and coffee;
- drink warm milk before bed which has tryptophan, also a serotonin booster;
- practice yoga, meditation or other relaxation techniques;
- take herbal remedies to naturally balance hormonal levels;
- consider hormone replacement therapy to alleviate symptoms, but work closely with a health care professional to discuss associated risks;
- find support groups through organizations, family and friends.
What if the symptoms are severe?
If you are experiencing prolonged bouts of melancholy, you might be experiencing a more serious condition, such as severe depression. You should consult a health care professional.
Getting to a point in my life where I am not afraid to speak my mind is one thing. However, having my hormones doing the speaking isn’t necessarily the best. So, I will try and keep this in mind the next time I think the entire world took a stupid pill. I will also do what I can to try and keep my serotonin levels up with proper diet and exercise. I am sure my family, friends and co-workers will greatly appreciate that.
Suggested Reading:
Mood Swings
Menopause, Mood Swings and Depression
Menopause and Mood: It’s Not All In Your Head
Your turn:
- Are you going through this stage of life cool as a cucumber, or have your turned into a maniacal fiend?
- What do you do to help keep your emotions on an even keel?
“And now I’m there, changing me from my usual go with the flow self to a raging lunatic at the drop of a hat.” You too eh? Some days I wake up and wonder who is this raging mad woman living in MY body? I’m forgetting things now too; yes, the other day I was looking all over my apt for my glasses… and… I was WEARING them! Now, who’s taking the stupid pills?
It does help to know that there is a “reason” for this madness. You’ve provided some great suggestions Eliza, re: diet and exercise. Three thumbs up.
Okay, I know it’s physically impossible for me to give a three thumbs up… blame it on the stupid pills.
@Davina – oh yes, I hear you on taking stupid pills myself. I have done the ‘Where the heck are my sunglasses?!’ thing, only to find them on my head. Haven’t actually had them in front of my eyes and wondered where they were
But if I’m honest, I’m pretty sure I’ve had my car keys in one hand while searching through my purse with the other hand for them. And of course, there is the famous “Why the heck did I come into this room?” scenario. Three thumbs up … that’s too funny.
Lol re the car keys. And yep… been walking into rooms for “no reason”, looking in drawers for “what again”? You just half to laugh.
I highly recommend fishing. It’s the perfect de-stresser.
(Though I know very few of you ladies would be into that….)
@Friar – actually my eldest daughter loves fishing. Is quite passionate about it. I enjoy it too, but rarely get a chance to go. But, you raise a good point about de-stressing. When I’m at home, I hop into the hot tub. If I’m away, I just excuse myself and sit quietly or go for a walk. Basically, I remove myself from people to keep them safe
Nice photo.
“Getting to a point in my life where I am not afraid to speak my mind is one thing. However, having my hormones doing the speaking isn’t necessarily the best.” — I like the way you put that. Awareness does seem to be a key.
@Lori – don’t you love that little guy? The little gremlin hiding, waiting to spring when our hormones open the door for it. Yes, awareness is very helpful. The other day I wasn’t eating properly and I had a fierce attack of nastiness. I headed off for the hot tub alone, which surprised Mr Very Right. I told him why I was heading out alone. With great concern he asked if there was anything he could. I said “Yes, stay away from me for about 30 minutes, for you own safety.” It made us both laugh, and he did stay away, and after a relaxing hot tub I was fine again. I knew what was happening to me, why it was happening, and what needed to happen to get past it. I could just as easily of given into the mood and made my life and Mr Very Right’s completely miserable.
I’m no more or less cranky than I’ve ever been. I think it might have helped that I’ve spread my “speaking my mind” and “venting when I needed to vent” all through my life so I didn’t have to save it all up for these wonder years. That being said, I can’t say enough about the benefits of regular exercise and maintaining healthy eating habits. Those are key not only to physical well-being, but also for mental well-being.
@XUP – I always struggled with hypoglycemia, but I am super sensitive now it seems. Regular exercise and healthy eating habits have taken on new meaning!
Hi Eliza,
I’m in the cool as a cucumber group. I don’t know if it was awareness or the fact I was conscious of what I ate/eat. I remember when Oprah had the menopause doctor on (Christine Northrup – I think that’s her name) and she stressed the importance of staying away from white foods. I followed her advice as I was having heart palpitations (as did Oprah), and that small change in my diet made a huge difference.
My doctor said the palpitations were probably caused by caffeine, so I decreased my consumption of that, too.
I don’t know if it’s menopause or just maturity that causes us to see stupidity. Although I tend not to rant about it, I’m often found shaking my head in dismay.
@Barbara – “if it’s white, don’t bite” I just read that in a health magazine. Only, I am really challenged following it. Mr Very Right is ALL about white breads and pastas, and I find it very hard to not have what he is having. However, I am slowly introduing whole grains into his diet. And I am going to have get strict about not having what he’s having. I have switched to espressos in the morning, rather than coffee. While they have more caffeine per ounze, you drink far far fewer ounzes of it than you get in mugs of coffee. After that it’s water or non-caffeinated teas.
Yep. Huh-huh. *head nodding*. Mmm-hmmm.
Oh my. Just this week, in response to Hubby’s question, I finally replied “I don’t know”. The question? “why are you over-reacting” or “what’s happened to you?” or “why do you care?” or “you used to be so quick-minded, what’s up?”
After I finally admitted to the “I don’t know” we talked and read and realized – perimenopause. Whew – and I thought I was going crazy! Nope, just 45 yrs old and transitioning to a new adventure in my life.
Anyway, am on the hunt for the changes I can make in diet and exercise to reduce the mood swings.
Thanks for the post – yes, I can relate
@Charlene – it’s such a relief to learn we aren’t crazy, eh? I think more than half the battle is figuring out what is going on, and being able to explain it to our poor beleagured family. If you come up with tips on what works for you diet and excercise wise, I’d love for you to come back and share that.
Grand Theft Auto.
When I can’t take it anymore, I just run over a couple of cops, and I feel all better…
Seriously though, I am ready for this. Several years of fertility treatment (hormone therapy!) gave me plenty of practice dodging flying dishes etc.
@Brett – my goodness, yes, talk about overdoses of hormones! Well, keep all my info tucked away. My big cleansing project is working wonders! I am soooo happy at the moment *grin* Turns out, when I take my own advice, and eat properly the hormones level right out.